Apollo 13

or Houston we've got a problem... or six.

Friday was moderately awful.

I finally got my tax figures from the accountant, and paid the tax online. Sadly this was the easy bit, as I've also got to phone tax credits and tell them how much I made. The rest of the world is also doing this so it's a soupcon busy in their call centre methinks. So they're playing a game.

Ring ring... Hello... please select from the following options... You've selected 4!.... please select from the following options... you've selected 3! ... please select from the following options... You've selected 1!.... did you know you can get help on our website? Please make sure you have your national insurance number ready.... this call may be recorded for training purposes..... our call centre is available from 8 to 8 every day.... All our operatives are busy... please call again later... goodbye! ~click~

yes, 5 minutes of crap and it cuts you off. So of course I phoned back again. And being clever I'd written down the answers, so I could just press 4,3,1 without waiting for the robot woman. This time they are busy, but I am put on hold.

20 minutes later, and I have to stop being on hold as my mobile is ringing. Tis glass class lady, glass class is cancelled. Bum. For two weeks! Double bum.

Back on hold for another 20 mins, and yay, the nice scottish man grills me, and then pronounces I have passed and my record has been updated.

Also had problems with my new toy. Saturday noticed it's slow to start turning. Investigation reveals the motor drive built is too slack. The adjustment bolts are a) really inaccessible, b) tightened to high torque and c) made of soft easily destroyed metal. By the time the job was done I have a hand which resembles a map of the moon.

Sunday new toy is still bothering me. It's too darn loud. Sounds like a cement mixer full of ball bearings. So I take the gearbox top cover off to find the reason is there's no bloody oil in the headstock. Well, maybe 1/4 inch in the bottom, when it should be about 4 inches deep. So game over until I can get the correct oil tomorrow.

I'm also losing to a cold. Thus I have the steady dripping nose thing.

I have an earworm too. I will share it with you now.



Bonus points if you can spot the pointless lyric censorship...

I've got two tickets to iron maiden baby....

Busy

That's me. Too busy to even lazy blog yesterday. It's awful.

As well as lots of work that's stopping me playing with my new toy, I'm also being Sonja'd. Sonja is the owner of an idiot son. Who clicks on the click here for free porn, er to add your computer to a botnet. So every 3 months or so I get a call that "somethings wrong with the computer". must be desperate this time as phoning EVERY FREAKING DAY. Go away, busy busy busy...

There is also the slight issue that there is round about zero month left, and the accountants haven't done my tax return yet. Be done 'soon' they tell me. So will be the £100 fine for not getting it in on time. Plus I've still to be on hold to the other government peeps who also want to know what I've earned.

Still, nice and relaxing glass class tomorrow. I can concentrate on a) not cutting myself and b) not starting any fires, and all my worries will just melt away.

Coming soon....

101 exciting things to do with a cnc music factory lathe. (Everybody dance now.... argh earworm).

It's now a) built, b) in the correct place and c) model engineering club member tested. (It goes backwards and forwards but nothing has been made 'cos that's a bit complicated).

Soon I will be able to fill youtube with exciting videos like this one:



this is actually the same type of machine I have, except mine is white & blue. And I'm smart enough to never EVER leave the key in the chuck unlike the chuckleheads who made that video.

I just need to practise my seasickness camera zoom first.....

***************

In other news....

Yesterday was my first 'spice' event. 'Make this your year'. Some of it was complete honk (If you think positively and wish for nice things to happen, the universe will make them happen for you).

A lot of it was cognitive modification techniques I already know from being shrinked earlier. Yet more was having a sore arse after sitting on wooden chairs for 6 hours.

The main thing is I met some new people, and interacted, or a very close approximation. This time next year Rodney.....

The eagle has landed

Urgh, I feel like death, but would like to announce that after many miles of travelling, blood sweat and tears, my garage currently sports a shiny new lathe. It's not put together yet, that fun awaits on the morrow.

C'riz out.

Can I play with madness?

I'm excited. Today in amongst all the 'donate clothes to our charity' bags there was a new form of hand delivered mail. One we've never had before.

The badly photocopied A5 raving loony note. I'm yet to work out who they actually hate, it could in fact be a rage against everyone. Or indeed who 'they' are. Or what they want you to do.

Sadly my scanner is broken, so I cannot share it all with you. But I will type the first bit, just to make sure I get added to the government watch list.

Inept ex climate change minister Ed Miliband states "I am a natural optimist". Gifts oops gives earths populations "decades" to find solutions to 'global climate cataclysm' (usually spun to easy old climate change). But edept; the worlds leaders, can not solve' their countries eco problems and who gave you, the decades to give to us? our mep L. Mcavan. says it's 25 years! The poor countries, who now have ecointense, cataclysmic, devastating, unsolvables are now, up and angry, to the blind, indifferent tourists (who have cruised or flown in and are lording it in their anguished, innocent faces (from we, the eco-failing states) and now rob, rape, kill the carbon careless.

Er, I missed out the random capital letters. That is 1 inch of small text, and a fairly representative sample. Can't wait for the next one!

Lazy blog:
Iron Maiden - Can I play with madness?



Bonus Factoid:
This was filmed at Tintern Abbey, a Cistercian monastery. I've not been there, but have been to the nearby Fountains Abbey which is built very similar, but without underground passages with televisions showing iron maiden.

Glum

It's like glee, but more depressing.

I'm currently sat in the house waiting for my special delivery train ticket to London to arrive. So I can go and purchase that small bucket and spade cnc lathe.

So I checked my email, to find one from the vendor of said lathe. That says 'oh dear it's broken, will have to rearrange a different day when it's been fixed'.

Argh! To 2 decimal places!
My ticket that hasn't arrived yet is non-refundable. Or transferable. I suppose I could book another ticket to come back and go and look at the lathe that doesn't work....

Killed to death

I'm going for it. CNC lathe will be mine. (Thanks peeps for the assist).

So on Friday at daft am I get on a train to that there Londinium. Man will meet me at the station, go look at machine, if happy give him £4000, and load it into his van for drive back to my house. Everyone then lives happily ever after.

Ma Ma tells Idiot Girl of this plan. I am insane!!! is her verdict. I am taking 4k to London, so it's certain that the man I am to meet will leave me dead in a ditch somewhere, minus the money.

While it's not ideal to carry around money, I think this is a soupcon far fetched. If you're going to rob someone a)you don't tell them where you live before hand and b)you do it for a lot more money.

I suppose if I was feeling paranoid I could blog a photo of the man before leaving the station. Then you all know whodunnit.

I'm actually more worried that machine turns out to be not what I want, and I'm stuck in London. It will be an adventure whatever happens.

Get fresh at the weekend

we're showing out... showing out.... ~earworm ahoy~

Friday I went to the stained glass course, and it was really nice. I didn't realise just how much I'd missed the peeps until I saw them again.

I'm surprised Sue is back again, as being honest she's bloody rubbish at it. She never remembers any of what she's been told, and so it's not unexpected that she gets it wrong when she's inventing the techniques herself. So it's a stream of profanities as she burns her fingers / drops things on the floor / breaks glass etc.

I also 'came out' and told them of my fliddy past and losing 10 years to staying in the house. I mentioned the 'spice' plan for developing the new me, and the teacher said she used to be in spice and it's a lot of fun with 'interesting' people. Which is good, but then again she's outgoing & confident.

**************
Saturday was less fun. Some gimp has reversed into the side of my car, and promptly done a runner.

Also less fun for Idiot Girl, as the tooth pain she has been ignoring got to unbearable levels. So she went to the emergency dental facility. The emergency medical hologram dentist says in his opinion that tooth is wrong, and needs either a)removing or b) root canal to save it.
Idiot girl thinks she knows better and says it's just an infection, give me antibiotics. So he does...... She's now (Sunday night) been on them, tramadol, benzocaine gel, oil of cloves, lucky rabbit's foot etc, and is trying to convince herself it's better, but failing.

*************

Sunday I go to inspect my poor car. At the same time the man from next door is looking at his audi with a similar unhappy expression. Yes, someone has hit that and also buggered off. A different someone as he has black paint transfer, and mine is white.

The major damage to mine is to the running board, so I remove said part in the rain to find it's the bracket that's mangled. One visit to mr. Eddie Shovelhands, and it's reshaped to almost the correct profile. Haven't had time to try and refit yet.

I am also stuck on a dilemma. I've wanted a cnc lathe for ages now. I almost had one for £2600, until I found that it was in fact, quite rubbish, and I had to exchange it for my money back.

There has now appeared on evilbay a lot bigger one. It's a beautiful machine, brand new and has been imported from the US of A. The man wants 'around' £4000 for it. To get one direct would cost £4800 + delivery from yank land + customs fees, so it's 'cheap'. It's also (to me) a lot of money to spend.

It's also a lot bigger than I thought I would be able to get. I could make a lot more things with it. It could be a cunning plan. But 4k.... and Ma Ma goes into usual speech that I have ideas but am crap at doing them.... nice demotivation Ma Ma.... I (the business) can afford it, and I want... but going to think on it overnight.

Here I go again

Plz to engage the whitesnake earworm. I has it, so think you should too.

When it's the real morning (ie the one with the sun, not the technical after midnight one) the stained glass course resumes. well, in theory it does, as the nice lady said she would email to remind me, but hasn't.

I'm going to go, as tis only a couple of miles away if it's 'off'. There is also the potential terror of new people. We was promised more students, so maybe there will be.

There is the backup terror of I'm rubbish at names. No, really rubbish. I've just about learned the peeps from the last time, and there was only the teacher + 2 other students.

More 'excitement' as and when it happens.

Politics

Barno is once again on the map, as my MP gets ready to quit (and get a jail term) for fiddling £14,000 from the public purse. Not that I voted for him last time.

So there will be a by-election, and I know who I'm going to vote for, should he stand again. Step forwards "Donald Wood", the man who last time got 2% of the vote, possibly because he had only two things on his 'vote for me' sheet.

1)Eric Illsley is bent. (correct as it turns out)
2)I am a season ticket holder at Barnsley FC.

I'm hoping he'll come up with another exciting vote winner.

Lazy blog:
Re-flex: the politics of dancing


This is a 'live' performance from the oh so cool in the 80's show 'the tube'. Or judging on audience reaction, plus band desperation plus stock footage insertion, a dead performance.

Methinks they had been promised Madness and was tricked into seeing these instead.

Spice

I've now joined S.P.I.C.E (special programme of initiative challenge & excitement).

New me: ahead, warp factor five mr. Sulu!

So far I've booked 3 events.

1)Make This Year 'The' Year
A 5 hour 'workshop' on attaining your goals, and other medieval underwater basket weaving type topics.

2)Observatory Visit
Or pay to go and look at the stars. I've always been interested in space, but rubbish at it, so could be educational. Or cloudy.

3)New member's social
Meet other new members. Buffet (food + people simultaneously? Sounds terrifying). Further pimpage from them to do more activities.

Also considering the tank paint ball one. Well that or 'drive a steam train', but you get half a day with tanks, and only an hour with a train for the same money. Both are cheaper than 'indoor skydiving' where your £100 gets you FOUR minutes!

Think I'll see if I survive the first round before booking more things. This could be the best or worst thing I've ever done.

Inclement

I'm supposed to go to the dentist today. As I keep getting occasional random pain this is no bad thing.

Except... Ma Ma is also going to the dentist. Ma Ma doesn't want to go. Ma Ma wakes me up early, and tells me it's snowed massively, it's impossible to drive and she's cancelled the dentist. Go back to sleep.

So I do. I'm now awake, and it's obvious this is yet another of Ma Ma's 'I don't want to go' excuses. Yes, there is some snow. But, the buses are still driving past the house, so her description of too much snow for anything to move is false. If a bus can go, my 4x4 can surely also go.

Just to make sure that I don't notice this, and uncancel the appointment she's gone out without taking her phone. *sigh*

*************

In other news, I didn't win the free spice membership competition. But, they sent me a message saying I can have the first month free if I join now!... as I was going to anyway, I'm counting this as a sort of win...

Ooooh Laaaaaaa!

The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one... but still they come!!!!
Well that's what messr. Wayne said.

I have something else going on with slightly better odds. The membership pimp pack arrived in the post for the spice activity thing. Said pack contains the instruction to visit their facebook group. So I did. To find it says "not a member? click like to enter our competition to win a 3 month free membership".

Said compo is drawn on Friday at noon. Or about 36 hours away. There are currently 12 likes including mine... Prolly still won't win, but I like the odds.

As it's now Thursday, it's time for lazy blogging. I bring to you a rather odd video of eve of the war. Enjoy!

Rumours

of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Being the phrase wrongly associated with Mark Twain.

Or to put it another way, I'm not dead yet. For today I went to see the nice lady doctor. Hello nice lady doctor, give me the bad new please?

Both my blood tests show elevated levels of bilirubin. I think from the quick glance at her screen one was 60, the other 70. I do have Gilbert's syndrome, which, big surprise gives out free increases in bilirubin. Methinks 'normal' people are round 20, and previously I've been 30ish.

So her next cunning plan is a) wait 3 weeks and get another blood test (joy!) to see if it's still raised. b) ultrasound scan of my gall bladder (I'm guessing she's thinking gallstones/ other reason for rise), and c) send me to the dermatologist just in case the insane itching isn't caused by bilirubin at all.

She also mentioned possibility of gastroenterology department if a +b are 'wrong'. Which I think prolly means diagnostic tests of the kind I don't want to think about.

Persons with any hint of medical knowledge feel free to chip in......

**************

On a lighter note, Idiot Girl has a new stupid quest to waste money. She's going to get d*i*v*o*r*c*e*d from Twonko. She's read on the internet you can do it for less than £70. She's also booked a first meeting with a solicitor for tomorrow that is going to cost £90 for the hour. But she's still convinced the entire thing will cost under £70....

Methinks the £14K she owes me is going to take a *little* while longer to be repaid than initially estimated. I do know that I am not allowing any further loans for legal person purposes.

Cough. Parp.

Idiot Girl strikes again.

She came here for the last hour of 2010. Which was spent a) bitching about her 'friends' who she'd spent the rest of the night with b) tormenting her dog, c) refusing to join in and d) coughing on people.

I'm now feeling rather ill. Thanks IG, love you too!

Have also started the year badly with arguing with Ma Ma. It's the same old thing. I want item X (in this case my oscilloscope). I go to where I put item X to find it's not there, and there's some junk in it's place. Ma Ma has 'tidied' it. Or to put it another way, she doesn't know what it is, only it's not hers and so it must be put in a bag and put somewhere else 'tidy'. I then ask where is X? What's an X? is always the reply, followed by a denial of ever having seen such an item.

It's eventually found in some obscure location in a poly bag. Ma Ma's argument is "I should put things away". My counter argument is "I considered it put away @ position Y in room Z, and if you move it somewhere else it wouldn't kill you to either tell me you are doing so, or write down what you have done".

This of course can never be resolved unless either Ma Ma stops randomly moving things, or I can fit everything into the garage as she never goes there so thus I can find everything 'cos it's still where I put it.

A (mildly) amusing side effect is on some things it's not worth the argument, so I just go out and buy another one. That's why my bookcase now has 6 copies of one of my favourite books...

Therapy

I may have just attached a small rubber duck keyring to a Chinese lantern, and launched them to the edge of space (ok 300 foot or so).

This be my way of symbolising a certain person is out of my life for 2011. Bit unlucky for the duck, but I feel better.

Good luck to the nice people for 2011, good riddance to a certain person from 2010...