Today I got up early. Like the first thing in the afternoon. 12:27 pm to be precise. My phone has a missed call, so I boot the pooter and phone back.
It goes a bit like:
Did you get the message?
Which message?
The facebook one, this morning.
Hang on... pooter boots. Message received 8:06 am.
I've only just woken up. So, no I won't be in Huddersfield for 1pm.
2 pm?
Ok. Later...
So I spleep walk thru a shower, dress and then drive like a mad man to get there on time. Meet mr. Bharj, and we go hunting the Biff. (another name on our potential reunion list).
Biff is found. The man appears to have been in stasis for fourteen years. True he has gained a huge workshop (that I don't covet in the slightest. Cough), and 2 kids. And appears to be doing really well (Like everyone else, bastards). But no, not aged at all.
The result is, yes, he's up for a reunion. And thinks he can contact another name on the outstanding list. So if he's successful we only have two more to find. This is actually getting quite scary, the thought that I may have to go thru with this....
Monday, 8 February 2010
Thursday, 4 February 2010
Tubetastic Thursday: Relax
Mahaha-hiya, guess what's happening now?
Yes, if you're unlucky enough to have me on your faceache list, you're getting double the videos.
If you're not lucky enough, it's my birthday today. So I'm technically older, but that's every day. The only real difference is I get to try (and fail) to pretend to do the happy when the peeps try and make an issue of it. You'd think they would learn by now, I'm just not interested....
In other news:
It has snowed again. 1.0 imperial inches. So not a lot. So obviously, that's why I get the phone call from idiot girl that she needs help in the evil snow. I should point out idiot girl has a (girls) 4x4, a freelander. She be 300 yards from home, has just missed crashing it and daren't drive any more.
"Almost" crash could be something to do with her driving technique of slowing down not working, so drop the clutch and stamp on the brakes. Repeatedly. Er, IG, leave the clutch alone, take your foot off the loud pedal and it will slow down on it's own.
So muggins gets to walk in the snow to her, drive her the remaining 300 yards home, then walk back. Joy.
On to Tubetastic Thursday.
I bring to you:
Frankie goes to Hollywood - relax
Yes, we all know the story of banned by the BBC so instant mega hit. Even if us innocent kiddies had no clue what it was about.
I was listening to the radio the other week while doing the work thing, and they had an interview with Holly Johnson, which was rather surprising to me, as I had the thought in the back of my mind he was dead a-la-Freddie Mercury. But no, he be still alive.
Mind, interviewer must have had the same thought, as interview kind of went, sooooo you're not dead then..... and you're not Frankie goes to Hollywood any more... so what are you doing while waiting to shuffle off? (He paints). Buy the greatest hits album plug. And ,er, that was it.
(Yes, I have worked out what the song is about now, thankyouverymuch).
Yes, if you're unlucky enough to have me on your faceache list, you're getting double the videos.
If you're not lucky enough, it's my birthday today. So I'm technically older, but that's every day. The only real difference is I get to try (and fail) to pretend to do the happy when the peeps try and make an issue of it. You'd think they would learn by now, I'm just not interested....
In other news:
It has snowed again. 1.0 imperial inches. So not a lot. So obviously, that's why I get the phone call from idiot girl that she needs help in the evil snow. I should point out idiot girl has a (girls) 4x4, a freelander. She be 300 yards from home, has just missed crashing it and daren't drive any more.
"Almost" crash could be something to do with her driving technique of slowing down not working, so drop the clutch and stamp on the brakes. Repeatedly. Er, IG, leave the clutch alone, take your foot off the loud pedal and it will slow down on it's own.
So muggins gets to walk in the snow to her, drive her the remaining 300 yards home, then walk back. Joy.
On to Tubetastic Thursday.
I bring to you:
Frankie goes to Hollywood - relax
Yes, we all know the story of banned by the BBC so instant mega hit. Even if us innocent kiddies had no clue what it was about.
I was listening to the radio the other week while doing the work thing, and they had an interview with Holly Johnson, which was rather surprising to me, as I had the thought in the back of my mind he was dead a-la-Freddie Mercury. But no, he be still alive.
Mind, interviewer must have had the same thought, as interview kind of went, sooooo you're not dead then..... and you're not Frankie goes to Hollywood any more... so what are you doing while waiting to shuffle off? (He paints). Buy the greatest hits album plug. And ,er, that was it.
(Yes, I have worked out what the song is about now, thankyouverymuch).
Saturday, 30 January 2010
I'm a real blogger now
Just had to delete my first comment spam, so I think that qualifies as having arrived!
Woo. Yay!
Also in large amounts of pain. Starter motor on my car is faulty. I have the "fix it" kit, to er, fix it. Land rover have made it so it's easier to remove the engine than to remove the starter motor. So ended up taking the motor apart while it's still fitted to the car, which means lots of stretching and jamming your hands in small places where you can't see or really reach that well. But at least it now starts. Double woo!
Woo. Yay!
Also in large amounts of pain. Starter motor on my car is faulty. I have the "fix it" kit, to er, fix it. Land rover have made it so it's easier to remove the engine than to remove the starter motor. So ended up taking the motor apart while it's still fitted to the car, which means lots of stretching and jamming your hands in small places where you can't see or really reach that well. But at least it now starts. Double woo!
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Additional
After 4 hours & 52 minutes I have been knocked out in 27th place.
This means:
a) $33 scoop ticket won
b) I'm bloody knackered as it's daft am.
c) Not doing that again.
Gambling bad kids!
This means:
a) $33 scoop ticket won
b) I'm bloody knackered as it's daft am.
c) Not doing that again.
Gambling bad kids!
Tubetastic Thursday: You can come if you want to
Greetings pop pickers!
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the following (almost) exciting information:
It's 2:28 am... 1843 players entered the blogger poker tournament that started, oh, 3 1/2 hours a-bloody-go.
And I'm still playing...
And just like the cute children on daytime tv, I'm now guaranteed a prize. Currently 38 out of 109 left so I've at least won a $11 scoop entry whatever that is.
Hang on a minute... $11, that's about 5 quid. For 3 1/2 hours? Does not compute. Could be worth it if I win the bloody thing, but somehow I doubt it.
Back to our regular programming.
I bring to you:
The carousels - you can come if you want to.
Now no doubt someone is screaming argh no! not more doo wop, make it stop!
But this is of the excellent. Excellent I tell you. I can listen to this a bajillion times, and every time is electricity running down my spine.
Ok, some will say she screams like she's killing cats, but they are also full of the wrong.
There are a few more sides from the carousels out there, and while they're fairly ok, this is definitely their triumph.
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the following (almost) exciting information:
It's 2:28 am... 1843 players entered the blogger poker tournament that started, oh, 3 1/2 hours a-bloody-go.
And I'm still playing...
And just like the cute children on daytime tv, I'm now guaranteed a prize. Currently 38 out of 109 left so I've at least won a $11 scoop entry whatever that is.
Hang on a minute... $11, that's about 5 quid. For 3 1/2 hours? Does not compute. Could be worth it if I win the bloody thing, but somehow I doubt it.
Back to our regular programming.
I bring to you:
The carousels - you can come if you want to.
Now no doubt someone is screaming argh no! not more doo wop, make it stop!
But this is of the excellent. Excellent I tell you. I can listen to this a bajillion times, and every time is electricity running down my spine.
Ok, some will say she screams like she's killing cats, but they are also full of the wrong.
There are a few more sides from the carousels out there, and while they're fairly ok, this is definitely their triumph.
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
The dead man's hand holds Aces and Eights
Ok, so Wild Bill Hickok was playing 5 card draw when killed with that hand.
I however, am a) still alive and b) was playing pot limit omaha.
I also lost out in the below pimped blogger poker tournament. Top 153 get the prizes, and I came 203 out of 1600 entrants. Not too shoddy, given I'm not a huge omaha fan. And there's still tournaments to play the rest of the week for no cost.
So as the lottery used to say before they got banned for false advertising "It could be you".
I however, am a) still alive and b) was playing pot limit omaha.
I also lost out in the below pimped blogger poker tournament. Top 153 get the prizes, and I came 203 out of 1600 entrants. Not too shoddy, given I'm not a huge omaha fan. And there's still tournaments to play the rest of the week for no cost.
So as the lottery used to say before they got banned for false advertising "It could be you".
Monday, 25 January 2010
Schemes and dreams
Hard as it may be to believe, I went to University and survived to get a (poor) degree. This is all ancient history (1996) and is filed on my flickr as "I had a life too once".
I forgot about it, until last week. Found one of the blokes on facebook. Oh, you're successful and have wife, child, house on the hill. I'm not... That was fun. Then another ex Beng bloke contacts me.. wife, 2 x child, house on hill, more success.
(I should perhaps at this point make clear I wish no ill, and am not bothered by their success... I assume they've earned it and thus deserve it. I haven't, and don't.)
At points in the past various peeps have said "we should have a reunion", but nothing has come of it. However, this time I think it could work, and nobody will have to get nailed to anything in pursuit of it. After all, everybody is starting to put their lives on t'interweb.
Without doing much searching emails are exchanged between six of us. Discounting foreign students, those known to have left the country since, those who didn't socialise during the course (I'm thinking of you Gailasuarus), this gives seven more potentially to find. One more can probably be discounted ('cos she's a lady and we're smelly blokes), and a further one (black ball from everyone so far). So that's five to find.
So on Saturday I set off to meet a small group of localish plotters. One wasn't coming out to play, so it was Zulf and Dara and moi. Despite my natural apprehension, we had a really nice time and came up with some perhaps viable strategies for finding the missing people. I'd like to say we haven't changed in what? 14 years, but it would be a lie. I've got fat and mental. Zulf's stopped drinking and Dara appears to be a straight and honest geezer. God have we gone downhill.
There is one slight snag, should we pull it off. What do you do to celebrate this reunion?
Now you could say go to the pub.. but people are older, with house on the hill etc, and it's not much of a draw to get people to come many miles.
Possible thoughts so far include:
Meal out somewhere.... followed by pub.
Blokey things... paintball, go karts etc. followed by pub.
Fly to somewhere cheap and cultural. Ignore the culture and go to the pub.
Any ideas from the blogosphere are most welcome?
Plz to note that we be blokes. Smelly older blokes. You don't get many lady engineers, so it has to be something where when we get there they don't think we're a stag party and throw us out. Attempting to appear sophisticated is also out (we're engineers).
I forgot about it, until last week. Found one of the blokes on facebook. Oh, you're successful and have wife, child, house on the hill. I'm not... That was fun. Then another ex Beng bloke contacts me.. wife, 2 x child, house on hill, more success.
(I should perhaps at this point make clear I wish no ill, and am not bothered by their success... I assume they've earned it and thus deserve it. I haven't, and don't.)
At points in the past various peeps have said "we should have a reunion", but nothing has come of it. However, this time I think it could work, and nobody will have to get nailed to anything in pursuit of it. After all, everybody is starting to put their lives on t'interweb.
Without doing much searching emails are exchanged between six of us. Discounting foreign students, those known to have left the country since, those who didn't socialise during the course (I'm thinking of you Gailasuarus), this gives seven more potentially to find. One more can probably be discounted ('cos she's a lady and we're smelly blokes), and a further one (black ball from everyone so far). So that's five to find.
So on Saturday I set off to meet a small group of localish plotters. One wasn't coming out to play, so it was Zulf and Dara and moi. Despite my natural apprehension, we had a really nice time and came up with some perhaps viable strategies for finding the missing people. I'd like to say we haven't changed in what? 14 years, but it would be a lie. I've got fat and mental. Zulf's stopped drinking and Dara appears to be a straight and honest geezer. God have we gone downhill.
There is one slight snag, should we pull it off. What do you do to celebrate this reunion?
Now you could say go to the pub.. but people are older, with house on the hill etc, and it's not much of a draw to get people to come many miles.
Possible thoughts so far include:
Meal out somewhere.... followed by pub.
Blokey things... paintball, go karts etc. followed by pub.
Fly to somewhere cheap and cultural. Ignore the culture and go to the pub.
Any ideas from the blogosphere are most welcome?
Plz to note that we be blokes. Smelly older blokes. You don't get many lady engineers, so it has to be something where when we get there they don't think we're a stag party and throw us out. Attempting to appear sophisticated is also out (we're engineers).
Thursday, 21 January 2010
Tubetastic Thursday: Russian roulette
Before I get to the usual Thursday guff, I must say woo! yay! to Facebook.
Yes, I'm still sceptical to it's uses (eg tried the poker, and you can buy fake chips that have no value with real money? How whack is that!), but on the other hand have caught up with a few peeps I've not seen in years. We even be thinking of having a class of '96 meet up. Well, the survivors who are local anyways.
A chance to find out who's gone bald, got kids, and to prove that none of us can dance still... Just as long as Phil is still frying chickens at Alton towers so I'm not totally last in the life success stakes.....
Tubetastic thursday.
I bring to you: Rihanna - russian roulette.
Ok, so I swore back in the day I'd never forgive her for the bloody umbrella song where it rained in real life for a billion days. As soon is it finally dropped off radio play out came the sun. But this be a catchy sort of tune. In fact at times it verges on earworm.
Other factettes n observations:
Uk radio play of this song cuts the final gunshot. Why, I don't know.
You have a 1 in 6 chance of taking a bullet in 'Nam if you try this at home kids. Which works out at about 50:50 if you have four goes and give the gun a spin each time. Plz to not check the statistics of this empirically.
Derrin Brown did a russian roulette based tv stunt thing. Yes, I was hoping it would go a soupcon wrong. I don't want him dead, but would settle for maimed enough that he no longer gets on tv. Which is rather odd as I don't watch tv anyways.
Rihanna is rather good at doing the wearing minimalistic clothing thing.
Yes, I'm still sceptical to it's uses (eg tried the poker, and you can buy fake chips that have no value with real money? How whack is that!), but on the other hand have caught up with a few peeps I've not seen in years. We even be thinking of having a class of '96 meet up. Well, the survivors who are local anyways.
A chance to find out who's gone bald, got kids, and to prove that none of us can dance still... Just as long as Phil is still frying chickens at Alton towers so I'm not totally last in the life success stakes.....
Tubetastic thursday.
I bring to you: Rihanna - russian roulette.
Ok, so I swore back in the day I'd never forgive her for the bloody umbrella song where it rained in real life for a billion days. As soon is it finally dropped off radio play out came the sun. But this be a catchy sort of tune. In fact at times it verges on earworm.
Other factettes n observations:
Uk radio play of this song cuts the final gunshot. Why, I don't know.
You have a 1 in 6 chance of taking a bullet in 'Nam if you try this at home kids. Which works out at about 50:50 if you have four goes and give the gun a spin each time. Plz to not check the statistics of this empirically.
Derrin Brown did a russian roulette based tv stunt thing. Yes, I was hoping it would go a soupcon wrong. I don't want him dead, but would settle for maimed enough that he no longer gets on tv. Which is rather odd as I don't watch tv anyways.
Rihanna is rather good at doing the wearing minimalistic clothing thing.
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
The following public service announcement
is brought to you in part by Slim Shady our evil overlords.
Announcement begins:
Announcement ends...
There, I've admitted I'm a bad gambler. No doubt I'll be punished for it one day.
Announcement begins:
I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker! Bloggers can register for to play for free in the WBCOOP, if you don’t have a PokerStars account you can get your Poker Download here.
Registration code: 904446
Announcement ends...
There, I've admitted I'm a bad gambler. No doubt I'll be punished for it one day.
Thursday, 14 January 2010
Tubetastic Thursday: Weekend!
They say when God closes a door he opens a window. I haven't a clue what use that actually is, unless you're a cat and like jumping thru windows?
I'm going to have a moan. I shall do it now:
My ISP have force migrated my email to google. They pimp it as being, no lie "New and shiny". That's the exact words used.
It is a load of shash. "You don't have to do anything, except wait for the shiny". it says. Oh yeah?
So.... now you can't send hardly any mail attachments. Ah.. that's useful.
And
You can only download mail once. So check mail on your phone, and then you can't get it on your pooter as well. Not like people use multiple devices these days is it? And it's Shiny! Woo! Arse!
Moan ends.
****************
I am now going to attempt an experiment. See if I can alienate approximately half the population, and attract the rest.
I bring to you:
Scooter - Weekend!
Just in case you haven't worked out the attraction it is thus: Bossoms.
There are actually several versions of this video, with varying levels of Bossoms. I have one on my pooter that is really quite overflowing, so they have also added snow to make it more arty. Snow = art, not porn if you didn't know.
Pointless additional fact for those not interested in Bossoms:
"Respect to the men in the ice cream van" refers of course to the KLF.
I'm going to have a moan. I shall do it now:
My ISP have force migrated my email to google. They pimp it as being, no lie "New and shiny". That's the exact words used.
It is a load of shash. "You don't have to do anything, except wait for the shiny". it says. Oh yeah?
So.... now you can't send hardly any mail attachments. Ah.. that's useful.
And
You can only download mail once. So check mail on your phone, and then you can't get it on your pooter as well. Not like people use multiple devices these days is it? And it's Shiny! Woo! Arse!
Moan ends.
****************
I am now going to attempt an experiment. See if I can alienate approximately half the population, and attract the rest.
I bring to you:
Scooter - Weekend!
Just in case you haven't worked out the attraction it is thus: Bossoms.
There are actually several versions of this video, with varying levels of Bossoms. I have one on my pooter that is really quite overflowing, so they have also added snow to make it more arty. Snow = art, not porn if you didn't know.
Pointless additional fact for those not interested in Bossoms:
"Respect to the men in the ice cream van" refers of course to the KLF.
Wednesday, 13 January 2010
Fixed.. and broken
Yesterday, after only a five week wait I finally had my nanocom delivered. This be a magic box to remove the three amigos from my landrover.
Slight snag... it no work until you register it with the nice people in Italy. Who ignore your registration attempts as they're no doubt doing more exciting things like spend my money.
But today I finally got it registered, and blam! Amigos be gone. So I hope you enjoyed the snow, as now I have a working 4x4 there won't be any more.
Of course, as I've fixed something that's wrong, something else in my life must be broken. It's the turn of email. The muppets at virgin have "migrated" to shiny new google powered email. That's dead wonderful*.
Shame it turns out you only get one chance to read your mail, so if you read it on your phone that's the only copy, despite having "leave messages on server" turned on. Getting nowhere fast with support who appear to be going down the path that the solution is to read on the phone, then forward it back to yourself?
And relax.
*complete and utter shash.
Slight snag... it no work until you register it with the nice people in Italy. Who ignore your registration attempts as they're no doubt doing more exciting things like spend my money.
But today I finally got it registered, and blam! Amigos be gone. So I hope you enjoyed the snow, as now I have a working 4x4 there won't be any more.
Of course, as I've fixed something that's wrong, something else in my life must be broken. It's the turn of email. The muppets at virgin have "migrated" to shiny new google powered email. That's dead wonderful*.
Shame it turns out you only get one chance to read your mail, so if you read it on your phone that's the only copy, despite having "leave messages on server" turned on. Getting nowhere fast with support who appear to be going down the path that the solution is to read on the phone, then forward it back to yourself?
And relax.
*complete and utter shash.
Monday, 11 January 2010
99.... 100
This be post 100. Rather surprising considering I wasn't expecting to get to 10.
Sadly I've been thinking for about a week now, must have something exciting for post 100.. what's happening today? Oh. snow. cold. wet. bored.
Nothing has changed , so methinks post 100 is "still alive, plz to standby".
To prove sanity, I give you:
James last - This is my song
What do you mean insanity more like? My collection of singing potatoes tell me I'm totally sane.
Sadly I've been thinking for about a week now, must have something exciting for post 100.. what's happening today? Oh. snow. cold. wet. bored.
Nothing has changed , so methinks post 100 is "still alive, plz to standby".
To prove sanity, I give you:
James last - This is my song
What do you mean insanity more like? My collection of singing potatoes tell me I'm totally sane.
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
New year. Old Idiot.
Or idiot girl fails to learn.
A test:
You have a (one) crusty bread roll, and you want to cut it in half. Do you
a) place on a bread board, and keeping your fingers out of the way of the knife carefully cut thru it?
or
b) Hold it in your right hand. Take your sharpest knife and hack at it brutally with your left hand?
Need a clue? Idiot Girl selected option b).
This may be why we got a phone call saying there is a cut of unknown depth on my finger that is redecorating my kitchen in a fetching shade of red and please fetch a bandage ~thud~
(~thud~ be where she passes out on the floor).
We arrive to find said thudee being ignored by the dog, so so much for all that lassie comes to the rescue shash.
Sadly no photos as I got the evil eye when I got my phone out, despite pretending it was just in case I had to call 999, and the thought of getting a quick pic to blog about didn't even begin to Cross my mind, honest. ~cough~
A test:
You have a (one) crusty bread roll, and you want to cut it in half. Do you
a) place on a bread board, and keeping your fingers out of the way of the knife carefully cut thru it?
or
b) Hold it in your right hand. Take your sharpest knife and hack at it brutally with your left hand?
Need a clue? Idiot Girl selected option b).
This may be why we got a phone call saying there is a cut of unknown depth on my finger that is redecorating my kitchen in a fetching shade of red and please fetch a bandage ~thud~
(~thud~ be where she passes out on the floor).
We arrive to find said thudee being ignored by the dog, so so much for all that lassie comes to the rescue shash.
Sadly no photos as I got the evil eye when I got my phone out, despite pretending it was just in case I had to call 999, and the thought of getting a quick pic to blog about didn't even begin to Cross my mind, honest. ~cough~
Friday, 1 January 2010
Say goodbye to 2009
and hello to 2010.
Yes, the year number has changed, but thequality crap blogging you've come to expect is still the same.
I've just been stood outside at minus 2 degrees, while detritus from other people's fireworks falls around me. That would have made a good new year, clonk, ow!
I wish you all the best of luck for 2010 (the year we make contact?)
I will not be making any resolutions, wishes, predictions as I don't do that sort of thing any more due to being completely shit at it.
Yes, the year number has changed, but the
I've just been stood outside at minus 2 degrees, while detritus from other people's fireworks falls around me. That would have made a good new year, clonk, ow!
I wish you all the best of luck for 2010 (the year we make contact?)
I will not be making any resolutions, wishes, predictions as I don't do that sort of thing any more due to being completely shit at it.
Friday, 25 December 2009
Xmas countdown: Teh End
I'm sure my 1/2 a reader will be glad it's all over.
So without further ado:
Christmas Party
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: not on cd anywhere.
Probability of being played on asda in store fm: minus infinity.
Relationship to xmas? : It's a xmas song.
I may get a buzz,
'cos mistletoe's poisionous,
oh hell I don't care I think I'll die.
This is a cover (prolly better than the original version actually) of a dead milkmen song from the time when the dead milkmen where a "fictional" band, and their albums came on tape with each one having a hand drawn cover by the band.
Of course thanks to the power of the interweb you can now obtain such rare material rather easily in mp3 format.
This is from "Oh no! Somebody shot sunshine!"
If you're really that interested you can hear the original here:
Ps.. Merry Christmas...
So without further ado:
Christmas Party
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: not on cd anywhere.
Probability of being played on asda in store fm: minus infinity.
Relationship to xmas? : It's a xmas song.
I may get a buzz,
'cos mistletoe's poisionous,
oh hell I don't care I think I'll die.
This is a cover (prolly better than the original version actually) of a dead milkmen song from the time when the dead milkmen where a "fictional" band, and their albums came on tape with each one having a hand drawn cover by the band.
Of course thanks to the power of the interweb you can now obtain such rare material rather easily in mp3 format.
This is from "Oh no! Somebody shot sunshine!"
If you're really that interested you can hear the original here:
 | The Dead Milkmen - Christmas Party .mp3 |  |
 | ||
 | Found at bee mp3 search engine |  |
Ps.. Merry Christmas...
Thursday, 24 December 2009
Xmas countdown V Tubetastic Thursday - grudgematch
There was some whining about credit cards and how awful they are when you have to phone mr. Patel in India and pay for the privilege here, but it was soooo boring, even by my standards, so it's gone now....
Time for a double bill....
Xmas countdown:
Sesame Street - Counting the days
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: one!
Probability of being played on asda in store fm: -2.6%
Relationship to xmas? : Weapon to keep the kids quiet with.
Having odd tastes in muzzax, I quite like obtaining doo wop "zero hit wonder" cd's. I got a xmas one, and this was on it... Freaky stuff eh?
Tubetastic Thursday:
The Cars - Drive
There be a slight xmas message in this one for all you crazy kids who go out on the pop.
"Who's going to drive you home tonight?"
No drink driving now. Or getting in strange cars with strange men. Or phoning me to come and rescue you. Thank you and good night.
Time for a double bill....
Xmas countdown:
Sesame Street - Counting the days
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: one!
Probability of being played on asda in store fm: -2.6%
Relationship to xmas? : Weapon to keep the kids quiet with.
Having odd tastes in muzzax, I quite like obtaining doo wop "zero hit wonder" cd's. I got a xmas one, and this was on it... Freaky stuff eh?
Tubetastic Thursday:
The Cars - Drive
There be a slight xmas message in this one for all you crazy kids who go out on the pop.
"Who's going to drive you home tonight?"
No drink driving now. Or getting in strange cars with strange men. Or phoning me to come and rescue you. Thank you and good night.
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Xmas countdown : Son of the xmas countdown
Season of goodwill? My arse!
Went to the hellhole that is asda. Coming out some little bastard shouts at me "cut your hair and get a job".
Now in an ideal world, I would be like the terminator and quickly choose an appropriate response:
Choices:
Ignore.
Kick child.
"There is no Santa".
"I have a job. F***ing your Mum"
"F**k you asshole".
Sadly I'm not very good at the human thing and spent too long thinking about it, and only managed a half hearted "F**k you". ~sigh~
More lazy blogging:
Band Aid - Do they know it's Christmas?
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: all of them.
Number of xmas words in the lyrics: 1
Number of winter / snow etc words: 1
Probability of being played on asda in store fm: 87.9%
Relationship to xmas? : More related to Geldof's ego. Midge Ure hardly gets a look in.
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you.
This has bugger all to do with Xmas. It was a method for extracting cash much the same as the local brass band playing and rattling tins outside tescos. You're supposed to give them money and pretend you care, feel good about yourself and then a few weeks later forget they exist.
But the artists, record companies etc did it all for nowt and helped the poor people... Oh yeah? And the record labels haven't made it back 10 times over in royalties for the song appearing on every bloody xmas compilation album, playing on the radio etc.... They only handed over the dosh from the single sales.
The truth is, we're really not remotely interested in helping the 3rd world. The 1st world is already using more than the planet can provide, so even if it was possible to instantly "upgrade" them to our standards it wouldn't be done.
Perhaps the Macc Lads had the truth with their "alternative" version of this song:
Feed your face, don't give them a second thought.
Rant ends....
Went to the hellhole that is asda. Coming out some little bastard shouts at me "cut your hair and get a job".
Now in an ideal world, I would be like the terminator and quickly choose an appropriate response:
Choices:
Ignore.
Kick child.
"There is no Santa".
"I have a job. F***ing your Mum"
"F**k you asshole".
Sadly I'm not very good at the human thing and spent too long thinking about it, and only managed a half hearted "F**k you". ~sigh~
More lazy blogging:
Band Aid - Do they know it's Christmas?
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: all of them.
Number of xmas words in the lyrics: 1
Number of winter / snow etc words: 1
Probability of being played on asda in store fm: 87.9%
Relationship to xmas? : More related to Geldof's ego. Midge Ure hardly gets a look in.
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you.
This has bugger all to do with Xmas. It was a method for extracting cash much the same as the local brass band playing and rattling tins outside tescos. You're supposed to give them money and pretend you care, feel good about yourself and then a few weeks later forget they exist.
But the artists, record companies etc did it all for nowt and helped the poor people... Oh yeah? And the record labels haven't made it back 10 times over in royalties for the song appearing on every bloody xmas compilation album, playing on the radio etc.... They only handed over the dosh from the single sales.
The truth is, we're really not remotely interested in helping the 3rd world. The 1st world is already using more than the planet can provide, so even if it was possible to instantly "upgrade" them to our standards it wouldn't be done.
Perhaps the Macc Lads had the truth with their "alternative" version of this song:
Feed your face, don't give them a second thought.
Rant ends....
Tuesday, 22 December 2009
Xmas countdown: revenge of the xmas countdown
Well, the doom begins. The usual xmas deluge of fools who bought an item from me on ebay AFTER last day for xmas posting to their country, and now want to know why they've not got it yet. Only one man from France so far, and he was only 1 day late in buying so may still get it, but I'm sure Thursday will see me with head in hands screaming "Make them stop".
But enough of this self pity. More lazy blogging:
Jona Lewie - Stop the cavalry
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: 72
Number of xmas words in the lyrics: 1
Number of winter / snow etc words: 1
Probability of being played on asda in store fm: 37%
Relationship to xmas? : Vague.
Wish I was at home for Christmas.
Methinks this has not actually got a lot to do with xmas, and more to do with war...
Video appears to be set in WW1 trenches / no man's land. N a lot of the typical cannon fodder "tommies" signed up for the war with the idea that it would be a bit of adventure / bash the hun / finish the war in time for christmas.
Or is it just me?
But enough of this self pity. More lazy blogging:
Jona Lewie - Stop the cavalry
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: 72
Number of xmas words in the lyrics: 1
Number of winter / snow etc words: 1
Probability of being played on asda in store fm: 37%
Relationship to xmas? : Vague.
Wish I was at home for Christmas.
Methinks this has not actually got a lot to do with xmas, and more to do with war...
Video appears to be set in WW1 trenches / no man's land. N a lot of the typical cannon fodder "tommies" signed up for the war with the idea that it would be a bit of adventure / bash the hun / finish the war in time for christmas.
Or is it just me?
Monday, 21 December 2009
Xmas countdown: part deux
It snowed today. And as I live on a hill, this can be entertaining.
You see, stupid people live further down the hill from me. Very stupid people. The road bends to the left, and it's moderately steep. Right on the apex of the bend, 2 cars parked on each side of the road. Which makes a gap in the middle of 1 car + 18 inches. The road is covered with snow... can you see the problem yet kids?
So the skittles have been set up, all there is to do is wait and watch for someone scoring a strike. How many cars will they damage? I should also point out you can go down our street to the council depot, so there's lots of vans driven by people who don't give a sh*t.
Sadly, there was no score today. One council van did look a good contender by a) going too fast & b) braking so the van is now going sideways on towards the target. Fortunately for him his brain kicked in, and he stopped braking, van goes back to straight again and he managed to steer his way thru with about three inches to spare.
Also had to drive to Idiot Girl's to "put up a picture". Yes, drive only if you have to, or if your sister wants to change her decor. No drama for me even if my land rover is in limp home mode. Entertaining following a very shiny BMW that wasn't going remotely where the driver was pointing it.
Thinks...... Ah: Jackie Wilson - reet petite
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: 1
Number of xmas words in the lyrics: 0
Number of winter / snow etc words: 0
Probability of being played on asda in store fm: 2%
Relationship to xmas? : Bugger all.
Reet petite the finest girl you ever want to meet.
So what's the xmas connection?
Christmas number 1 single for 1986, and most of December too if memory is working. One of my favourite xmas songs actually...
You see, stupid people live further down the hill from me. Very stupid people. The road bends to the left, and it's moderately steep. Right on the apex of the bend, 2 cars parked on each side of the road. Which makes a gap in the middle of 1 car + 18 inches. The road is covered with snow... can you see the problem yet kids?
So the skittles have been set up, all there is to do is wait and watch for someone scoring a strike. How many cars will they damage? I should also point out you can go down our street to the council depot, so there's lots of vans driven by people who don't give a sh*t.
Sadly, there was no score today. One council van did look a good contender by a) going too fast & b) braking so the van is now going sideways on towards the target. Fortunately for him his brain kicked in, and he stopped braking, van goes back to straight again and he managed to steer his way thru with about three inches to spare.
Also had to drive to Idiot Girl's to "put up a picture". Yes, drive only if you have to, or if your sister wants to change her decor. No drama for me even if my land rover is in limp home mode. Entertaining following a very shiny BMW that wasn't going remotely where the driver was pointing it.
Thinks...... Ah: Jackie Wilson - reet petite
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: 1
Number of xmas words in the lyrics: 0
Number of winter / snow etc words: 0
Probability of being played on asda in store fm: 2%
Relationship to xmas? : Bugger all.
Reet petite the finest girl you ever want to meet.
So what's the xmas connection?
Christmas number 1 single for 1986, and most of December too if memory is working. One of my favourite xmas songs actually...
Sunday, 20 December 2009
Xmas countdown
Bit of a joy / despair / despair/ slightly less despair day today.
Joy: My new credit card was finally delivered.
Despair: After activating it, and them trying to sell me insurance against it being cloned (wot, like it just has been you mean?) I took it to the shop. Where it failed to work.
Despair: Attempting to start car: clunk. Bugger new battery required. Hang on.. the headlights are still bright... tries again, starts first time.... Bugger.. new starter motor required.
Slightly less despair: Googled discovery td5 starter motor, and they're apparently crap and fail a lot. But you can get a kit of replacement bits to fix them for £10, so slightly happier as this is cheaper than a battery at £130.
I haz also had a genius, GENIUS idea I tell you, on how to blog lazily in the run up to xmas when idiots will suddenly decide to do their xmas shopping online at my emporium and drive me insane running around after them.
The idea be: Youtube vids to the max. With a twist on the xmas theme. Yes, I hope to have enough ideas of xmas things to show, that when you actually stop and think for a soupcon, they're not remotely xmas-y.
I will start this plan NOW: Freiheit - Keeping The Dream Alive
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: 5
Number of xmas words in the lyrics: 0
Number of winter / snow etc words: 0
Probability of being played on asda in store fm: 15%
Relationship to xmas? : Bugger all.
The game will never be over
Because we're keeping the dream alive
I'm baffled why this is a Christmas song. Anyone got any ideas?
Joy: My new credit card was finally delivered.
Despair: After activating it, and them trying to sell me insurance against it being cloned (wot, like it just has been you mean?) I took it to the shop. Where it failed to work.
Despair: Attempting to start car: clunk. Bugger new battery required. Hang on.. the headlights are still bright... tries again, starts first time.... Bugger.. new starter motor required.
Slightly less despair: Googled discovery td5 starter motor, and they're apparently crap and fail a lot. But you can get a kit of replacement bits to fix them for £10, so slightly happier as this is cheaper than a battery at £130.
I haz also had a genius, GENIUS idea I tell you, on how to blog lazily in the run up to xmas when idiots will suddenly decide to do their xmas shopping online at my emporium and drive me insane running around after them.
The idea be: Youtube vids to the max. With a twist on the xmas theme. Yes, I hope to have enough ideas of xmas things to show, that when you actually stop and think for a soupcon, they're not remotely xmas-y.
I will start this plan NOW: Freiheit - Keeping The Dream Alive
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: 5
Number of xmas words in the lyrics: 0
Number of winter / snow etc words: 0
Probability of being played on asda in store fm: 15%
Relationship to xmas? : Bugger all.
The game will never be over
Because we're keeping the dream alive
I'm baffled why this is a Christmas song. Anyone got any ideas?
Saturday, 19 December 2009
And they'd have got away with it if it wasn't for those darn kids!
I am, so I'm told, the intended recipient of a package. Which contains $700,000 in cash. (must be a bit heavy).
But the silly sausages forgot to pay enough to cover the weight of all those greenbacks, so I must pay $315 and 29 cents within the next 2 days, or it will be sent back!
Quite why the nice lady at fedex currier company can't just take a bit out of the money in the box, I'm not sure. They could even get some donuts, on me! They must be stupid or something...
Perhaps that's why they spell courier as currier. Unless it works by a chain of fast food shops delivering your money slowly in a max 5 mile radius with free onion bhajis?
But the silly sausages forgot to pay enough to cover the weight of all those greenbacks, so I must pay $315 and 29 cents within the next 2 days, or it will be sent back!
Quite why the nice lady at fedex currier company can't just take a bit out of the money in the box, I'm not sure. They could even get some donuts, on me! They must be stupid or something...
Perhaps that's why they spell courier as currier. Unless it works by a chain of fast food shops delivering your money slowly in a max 5 mile radius with free onion bhajis?
Friday, 18 December 2009
Voyage to trip out city
Well, sort of. A bit. Maybe.
I have been given by the vets some new antihistamines, as standard over the counter stuff works for about 2 hours and then stops, and taking 6 in a day is slightly more than "1 a day" like it says on the box. I'm also told "drowsy effect", which considering I've not been spleeping could well be a positive point.
So last night, itch, scratch, not tired.... I know, try one out.
Goes to bed, still not tired but resigned to singing the infinite bottles of beer on the wall song. Then came the strange things.
I can hear something. But in my head, not in reality. It's like listening to a numbers station. This goes on for a bit. It then changes to Jeremy Clarkson talking gibberish. No, not the rubbish he often spouts, but actual strings of nonsense words, that I sort of understand. Then there are a sequence of chords, that are not so groovy. Then I start to feel tired / dulled, so write down the above so I'd not forget (I have some great blogging ideas that are lost by the next day).
The pills are bright blue coloured... Oh.. matrix-y.. Perhaps I should ask if they've got any red ones and wake up?
I have been given by the vets some new antihistamines, as standard over the counter stuff works for about 2 hours and then stops, and taking 6 in a day is slightly more than "1 a day" like it says on the box. I'm also told "drowsy effect", which considering I've not been spleeping could well be a positive point.
So last night, itch, scratch, not tired.... I know, try one out.
Goes to bed, still not tired but resigned to singing the infinite bottles of beer on the wall song. Then came the strange things.
I can hear something. But in my head, not in reality. It's like listening to a numbers station. This goes on for a bit. It then changes to Jeremy Clarkson talking gibberish. No, not the rubbish he often spouts, but actual strings of nonsense words, that I sort of understand. Then there are a sequence of chords, that are not so groovy. Then I start to feel tired / dulled, so write down the above so I'd not forget (I have some great blogging ideas that are lost by the next day).
The pills are bright blue coloured... Oh.. matrix-y.. Perhaps I should ask if they've got any red ones and wake up?
Thursday, 17 December 2009
Tubetastic Thursday - Keltech strikes back
Meh! One more week and the insanity of it all will be over.
The mildly annoying thing is I'm very busy and working hard, but I'm not actually making all that much more money than usual. Peeps appear to have stopped buying the cheaper easy to make things, and are buying the expensive 40 mins each sodding things, so I work like crazy and then there's only 10 parcels for that day and £90.
And.. relax.
I bring to you:
DJ Keltech - Keltech strikes back
Thinking you've seen this before? Well you prolly have as it was a viral video, what, three years ago?
If you like your scratching, then his cd be worth a-buying.
I generally doth not buy cd's cos a) tight, b) mp3's on a usb stick works better in my car. But I bought this one. I's even got it signed to moi... could be worth 99p in a few decades time... And yes, first thing I did was rip it to mp3 and put it on a shelf. The cd is dead, long live the cd!
The mildly annoying thing is I'm very busy and working hard, but I'm not actually making all that much more money than usual. Peeps appear to have stopped buying the cheaper easy to make things, and are buying the expensive 40 mins each sodding things, so I work like crazy and then there's only 10 parcels for that day and £90.
And.. relax.
I bring to you:
DJ Keltech - Keltech strikes back
Thinking you've seen this before? Well you prolly have as it was a viral video, what, three years ago?
If you like your scratching, then his cd be worth a-buying.
I generally doth not buy cd's cos a) tight, b) mp3's on a usb stick works better in my car. But I bought this one. I's even got it signed to moi... could be worth 99p in a few decades time... And yes, first thing I did was rip it to mp3 and put it on a shelf. The cd is dead, long live the cd!
Wednesday, 16 December 2009
Woo!
We interrupt this not blogging to bring an important announcement.
I is teh winnah! And no, I don't mean I'm a "special" winner like other peeps tell me, I mean the real cash money type. £25 from the premium bonds.
Woo! Yay!
I is teh winnah! And no, I don't mean I'm a "special" winner like other peeps tell me, I mean the real cash money type. £25 from the premium bonds.
Woo! Yay!
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Tubetastic Thursday - Living next door to Alice
It's rather sad that the only day I can keep up with is the lazy blogging day dontcha think?
It is of course quite a lot to do with that whole xmas rubbish. Brings out the idiots who waste my time, and makes me work harder so no time for excitement and adventure.
"But at least you're making money" stupid people will say.... Well, yes you are, but no you're not. The 'extra' money goes on buying in lots of boxes and bubble envelopes and stock just in case someone wants to buy it. So you end up with more stuff that there's no space for, but no more "real" money, and not forgetting of course that people stop buying things once it's time to plonk in front of their shiny new idiot boxes.
Anyway, enough of my ranting. You're (maybe) here for tubetastic Thursday.
I bring to you:
Smokie - Living next door to Alice.
Smokie.... possibly the best thing to have come out of Bradford. Not a city I have much love for.
You may have noted that this is the original 70's version (methinks the sweede cuts give it away just a soupcon), not the 90's remake. Though come to think of it, the 90's one does have a valid question "Who the F*** is Alice?" anyways?
Why is she leaving after 24 years in a big limousine? Has she inherited the family fortune? Obviously she wants to make an impression on leaving, it's been staged and perhaps planned for years....
What happened to stop him from being able to interact with Alice? Did one or more of them go mental? I'm thinking perhaps he did.
Sally's been waiting 24 years for Alice to bugger off so she can have a go... But I think she will not get anywhere. He's not capable of interacting with the world, even if the world wants to interact with him. All he can do is watch as his chances fade away.
Er, I think I'm projecting my story onto this just a little.... Stop now. Yes, stop good.
It is of course quite a lot to do with that whole xmas rubbish. Brings out the idiots who waste my time, and makes me work harder so no time for excitement and adventure.
"But at least you're making money" stupid people will say.... Well, yes you are, but no you're not. The 'extra' money goes on buying in lots of boxes and bubble envelopes and stock just in case someone wants to buy it. So you end up with more stuff that there's no space for, but no more "real" money, and not forgetting of course that people stop buying things once it's time to plonk in front of their shiny new idiot boxes.
Anyway, enough of my ranting. You're (maybe) here for tubetastic Thursday.
I bring to you:
Smokie - Living next door to Alice.
Smokie.... possibly the best thing to have come out of Bradford. Not a city I have much love for.
You may have noted that this is the original 70's version (methinks the sweede cuts give it away just a soupcon), not the 90's remake. Though come to think of it, the 90's one does have a valid question "Who the F*** is Alice?" anyways?
Why is she leaving after 24 years in a big limousine? Has she inherited the family fortune? Obviously she wants to make an impression on leaving, it's been staged and perhaps planned for years....
What happened to stop him from being able to interact with Alice? Did one or more of them go mental? I'm thinking perhaps he did.
Sally's been waiting 24 years for Alice to bugger off so she can have a go... But I think she will not get anywhere. He's not capable of interacting with the world, even if the world wants to interact with him. All he can do is watch as his chances fade away.
Er, I think I'm projecting my story onto this just a little.... Stop now. Yes, stop good.
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
Empty
My mind is on empty. And my enthusiasm reserve is too. And my tolerance of the whole xmas shash. I just keep trying to think soon it will be back to normal, whatever normal is anyways.
On the bright side, I've overcome the Ma's quest for the perfect (none existent) washing machine. I applied a bit of lateral thinking, and repaired the old one. It's a whole lot easier to fix these things at 3 am, when you can be calm and methodical. Printout from fix your washing machine website in one hand, cup of tea in the other.
True, technically it could also be a recipe for someone finding you dead of electrocution the next morning, but faint heart never won fair maiden, or got your clothes clean.
To add to the fun, I'm also trying to find out empirically just how many "one a day" antihistamines you can take in a day without dying. I've had five in the last 24 hours, and the edge is just about wearing off, as if I need another one. Google tells me what the symptoms of overdose are and I don't have them. It also tells me the half life is 8 hours, so how 1 is supposed to work for 24 hours I'm not sure. The house of half truths that is wikipedia suggests 10mg (1 a day) is barely more effective than a placebo. Ho hum, if anyone finds a spare liver, I'll have it for xmas plz.
On the bright side, I've overcome the Ma's quest for the perfect (none existent) washing machine. I applied a bit of lateral thinking, and repaired the old one. It's a whole lot easier to fix these things at 3 am, when you can be calm and methodical. Printout from fix your washing machine website in one hand, cup of tea in the other.
True, technically it could also be a recipe for someone finding you dead of electrocution the next morning, but faint heart never won fair maiden, or got your clothes clean.
To add to the fun, I'm also trying to find out empirically just how many "one a day" antihistamines you can take in a day without dying. I've had five in the last 24 hours, and the edge is just about wearing off, as if I need another one. Google tells me what the symptoms of overdose are and I don't have them. It also tells me the half life is 8 hours, so how 1 is supposed to work for 24 hours I'm not sure. The house of half truths that is wikipedia suggests 10mg (1 a day) is barely more effective than a placebo. Ho hum, if anyone finds a spare liver, I'll have it for xmas plz.
Thursday, 3 December 2009
Tubetastic Thursday - Punk rock girl
I'm rather tired today as it's 2:43 am on Thursday morning. Too many late nights methinks...
So without further ado I bring to you:
The Dead Milkmen - Punk rock girl
Not my favourite milkmen track, but the first video I could find.
Now they're back as a band again with a new bass player I'd like to see them live. I'd also like to win the lottery, have a wining personality, and lots of other things that won't happen. Sorry, depressed, tired, tired.. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Additional, 5pm.
This song be of course sung by Joe Jack Talcum, and is perhaps their most commerically successful release. Shame he doesn't actually sing most of the songs normally.
I'm am still tired, and can now add world weary to the list... The washing machine died. I took Ma to the washing machine shoppe to look at new ones. New ones fill up with only cold water. Ma wants one that fills with cold & hot water. I tell her the only come in cold these days. Shop assistant tells her they only come in cold these days. Ma believes we are lying (??) and insists we go to every shop that sells washing machines. Quelle suprise, they only sell cold fill ones, 'cos that's all the manufacturers make.
Methinks this one is going to run and run until I can't take any more.
So without further ado I bring to you:
The Dead Milkmen - Punk rock girl
Not my favourite milkmen track, but the first video I could find.
Now they're back as a band again with a new bass player I'd like to see them live. I'd also like to win the lottery, have a wining personality, and lots of other things that won't happen. Sorry, depressed, tired, tired.. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Additional, 5pm.
This song be of course sung by Joe Jack Talcum, and is perhaps their most commerically successful release. Shame he doesn't actually sing most of the songs normally.
I'm am still tired, and can now add world weary to the list... The washing machine died. I took Ma to the washing machine shoppe to look at new ones. New ones fill up with only cold water. Ma wants one that fills with cold & hot water. I tell her the only come in cold these days. Shop assistant tells her they only come in cold these days. Ma believes we are lying (??) and insists we go to every shop that sells washing machines. Quelle suprise, they only sell cold fill ones, 'cos that's all the manufacturers make.
Methinks this one is going to run and run until I can't take any more.
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
IG update
Like anyone cares. But just in case....
Idiot Girl has been released from the hospital. Plz to come back if your foot falls off, or if it starts leaking blood / metal parts / massive infection.
Idiot Girl has been released from the hospital. Plz to come back if your foot falls off, or if it starts leaking blood / metal parts / massive infection.
Bugger
Bugger to N decimal places.
Today is not looking like a good day.
Next door neighbour knocked on the door, can I move my car for 10 mins?
Ok.... Moves car.. "bong bong bong" goes car and the dash lights up like a Xmas tree. This be going to be expensive, and I can't put it on the credit card as yesterday the credit card people phoned up to tell me my card details have been stolen and it doesn't work any more. So no credit until they send a new one in 14 days.
I then get a phone call where I get bollocked for being out of the house for five whole minutes. Turns out Idiot Girl is now sitting in the hospital A+E department, as it would appear the plates holding her leg together, er, aren't.
So I've now got the entertainment of the Ma playing "what if?" and "We should go there... text Idiot Girl this stupid message" etc, when Idiot Girl has said stay put here until she tells us to come. So eventually Ma will a) drive me nuts, and b) go there even though told to stay away, and big shouty things will happen in the hospital.
Somebody plz, shoot me thru the head, I don't want to live...
Today is not looking like a good day.
Next door neighbour knocked on the door, can I move my car for 10 mins?
Ok.... Moves car.. "bong bong bong" goes car and the dash lights up like a Xmas tree. This be going to be expensive, and I can't put it on the credit card as yesterday the credit card people phoned up to tell me my card details have been stolen and it doesn't work any more. So no credit until they send a new one in 14 days.
I then get a phone call where I get bollocked for being out of the house for five whole minutes. Turns out Idiot Girl is now sitting in the hospital A+E department, as it would appear the plates holding her leg together, er, aren't.
So I've now got the entertainment of the Ma playing "what if?" and "We should go there... text Idiot Girl this stupid message" etc, when Idiot Girl has said stay put here until she tells us to come. So eventually Ma will a) drive me nuts, and b) go there even though told to stay away, and big shouty things will happen in the hospital.
Somebody plz, shoot me thru the head, I don't want to live...
Monday, 30 November 2009
Tis the season to eat holly
blurgh blurgh blurgh ow ow ow...
Well, that was a fun weekend.
As a pro evil bay seller I get the fun of not only selling stuff, but then going down to my magic workshop and making said stuff, followed by packing it. Some stuff is just bought in and sold on, but of course they really hit me hard on the "my stuff" and not the easy things.
So I worked until 9:30 pm, then grabbed a quick sarnie before starting to pack things. 1:12 am, and packing is complete. Lots of bubble envelopes for the lady to take to the post office tomorrow and terrorise the staff with. They are all hugely afraid as she now knows the game better than they do and tells them off if they get it wrong.
I'm still failing to understand the logic of the evilbay punter though. 90% of my stuff is buy it now. You click the little button and it's yours. So why do I have 50 people watching one of my ducks when there are exactly four of them left on my shelf?
They're not going to get any cheaper people.... and you can be sure when I've sold them at least 5 of the watchers will email me asking if I've got any more 'cos they was watching and didn't get one...
Other joys of the day:
Some bloke knocking on my garage wall. Turns out he's vaguely related to a friend, and would like to purchase my ford fiesta. Er.. a) it's not for sale b) if it was you don't want to buy it as it's in lots of small pieces, half of it isn't there and it needs massive amounts of welding. c) It's behind my ford capri that last moved three years ago, and I have no plans to move it soon.
Facebook doth not like me.
Try to do anything and a big notice comes up saying you haven't confirmed your account, check your email and confirm it. But.. I've done that...
Emailed the facebook dwarfs... reply.. your account has been confirmed... Yes.. I know that.. could you please tell the interweb thing that is has so it will work then?
Maybe tomorrow things will work....
Well, that was a fun weekend.
As a pro evil bay seller I get the fun of not only selling stuff, but then going down to my magic workshop and making said stuff, followed by packing it. Some stuff is just bought in and sold on, but of course they really hit me hard on the "my stuff" and not the easy things.
So I worked until 9:30 pm, then grabbed a quick sarnie before starting to pack things. 1:12 am, and packing is complete. Lots of bubble envelopes for the lady to take to the post office tomorrow and terrorise the staff with. They are all hugely afraid as she now knows the game better than they do and tells them off if they get it wrong.
I'm still failing to understand the logic of the evilbay punter though. 90% of my stuff is buy it now. You click the little button and it's yours. So why do I have 50 people watching one of my ducks when there are exactly four of them left on my shelf?
They're not going to get any cheaper people.... and you can be sure when I've sold them at least 5 of the watchers will email me asking if I've got any more 'cos they was watching and didn't get one...
Other joys of the day:
Some bloke knocking on my garage wall. Turns out he's vaguely related to a friend, and would like to purchase my ford fiesta. Er.. a) it's not for sale b) if it was you don't want to buy it as it's in lots of small pieces, half of it isn't there and it needs massive amounts of welding. c) It's behind my ford capri that last moved three years ago, and I have no plans to move it soon.
Facebook doth not like me.
Try to do anything and a big notice comes up saying you haven't confirmed your account, check your email and confirm it. But.. I've done that...
Emailed the facebook dwarfs... reply.. your account has been confirmed... Yes.. I know that.. could you please tell the interweb thing that is has so it will work then?
Maybe tomorrow things will work....
Sunday, 29 November 2009
illogical captain
I start my day the same as always, ask the Ma what's new?
News for today is the house idiot girl is renting out is damp, and tenants want it fixed pronto. Idiot girl has told the agents she has no money, and it will get fixed next year and if they don't like it, unlucky.
Er, Question.... What are you going to do when tenants leave the house 'cos it's uninhabitable, and the agents then don't advertise it for rent 'cos who wants to rent a damp house? Call me stupid, but no tenants = no income, so you have no choice but to fix it now...
Then comes the next thing... Idiot girl is not very well. And she's supposed to be "going out" tonight, but is in no condition to drive anywhere. "Unlucky" is the thought that crosses my mind.
Fast forwards a couple of hours. Idiot girl is still ill, but Ma has "volunteered" that I can drive her to the pub, and collect several other drunken fools she calls friends on the way.
Oh, thank you Ma! Not like we're in the Xmas rush and I've got work to do... Plus really ill, so is it clever to add really drunk too?
So sucker collects idiot girl, and collects "friends". Where to now IG?
"The monkey, you know where that is?" no.
"Next to northern college" still no.
"Hood green" Que?
"Near my horse".. Still a bit on the cold side. I've got this really good idea... it's called I drive and you say left or right when there are choices...
As we bimble along there are several topics of conversation:
1) How much they hate the other people they are all going to go and meet.
2) How the pub is freezing cold, and a sh*thole.
No, I don't ask why the hell they are going there then, much as I'd like to. They then say one of the nicest things anyone has said to me.... "He's not like Idiot Girl at all". Thank the LORD for that.. though it is perhaps rather rude to talk about someone in the third person when they're in the same car.
Idiot girl, just say no.
News for today is the house idiot girl is renting out is damp, and tenants want it fixed pronto. Idiot girl has told the agents she has no money, and it will get fixed next year and if they don't like it, unlucky.
Er, Question.... What are you going to do when tenants leave the house 'cos it's uninhabitable, and the agents then don't advertise it for rent 'cos who wants to rent a damp house? Call me stupid, but no tenants = no income, so you have no choice but to fix it now...
Then comes the next thing... Idiot girl is not very well. And she's supposed to be "going out" tonight, but is in no condition to drive anywhere. "Unlucky" is the thought that crosses my mind.
Fast forwards a couple of hours. Idiot girl is still ill, but Ma has "volunteered" that I can drive her to the pub, and collect several other drunken fools she calls friends on the way.
Oh, thank you Ma! Not like we're in the Xmas rush and I've got work to do... Plus really ill, so is it clever to add really drunk too?
So sucker collects idiot girl, and collects "friends". Where to now IG?
"The monkey, you know where that is?" no.
"Next to northern college" still no.
"Hood green" Que?
"Near my horse".. Still a bit on the cold side. I've got this really good idea... it's called I drive and you say left or right when there are choices...
As we bimble along there are several topics of conversation:
1) How much they hate the other people they are all going to go and meet.
2) How the pub is freezing cold, and a sh*thole.
No, I don't ask why the hell they are going there then, much as I'd like to. They then say one of the nicest things anyone has said to me.... "He's not like Idiot Girl at all". Thank the LORD for that.. though it is perhaps rather rude to talk about someone in the third person when they're in the same car.
Idiot girl, just say no.
Saturday, 28 November 2009
On not getting it in the slightest
I haz done it. But I'm failing to see the point. Several years after everyone else I now have a facebook account.
But, er, just what is the purpose of this fabulous must have thing?
No, really, I'm serious...
So far all I've worked out is you put the name of your real life friend in the top box, and thump search. It then brings back lots of results that aren't your friend at all. You then do this several more times, narrowing it down by inserting their location, weight, DNA structure etc, and you finally find your friend.
It then says click here to add them, so you do, and fill out a captcha, and then it says they will think about it, oh and here is a massive list of people you don't know remotely, but are they your friends??
After half an hour I've found oh! four friends, and my sister Idiot Girl. I clicked block on idiot girl, as frankly knowing her in real life is waaaay too much.
I consider myself to be good with all this interweb stuff, having been online since 1995.
~hovis advert music~
I can remember mosaic browser, then there was that new fangled netscape thing. I had a hotmail account before it belong to microsoft... And I had a 28.8 modem for the speedz..... so why don't I have a clue what the bloody hell this social networking guff is all about?
If anyone can tell me what happens now, and when the excitement is likely to start (So I can wear my brown pants on that day) I'd be happy to hear from you...
But, er, just what is the purpose of this fabulous must have thing?
No, really, I'm serious...
So far all I've worked out is you put the name of your real life friend in the top box, and thump search. It then brings back lots of results that aren't your friend at all. You then do this several more times, narrowing it down by inserting their location, weight, DNA structure etc, and you finally find your friend.
It then says click here to add them, so you do, and fill out a captcha, and then it says they will think about it, oh and here is a massive list of people you don't know remotely, but are they your friends??
After half an hour I've found oh! four friends, and my sister Idiot Girl. I clicked block on idiot girl, as frankly knowing her in real life is waaaay too much.
I consider myself to be good with all this interweb stuff, having been online since 1995.
~hovis advert music~
I can remember mosaic browser, then there was that new fangled netscape thing. I had a hotmail account before it belong to microsoft... And I had a 28.8 modem for the speedz..... so why don't I have a clue what the bloody hell this social networking guff is all about?
If anyone can tell me what happens now, and when the excitement is likely to start (So I can wear my brown pants on that day) I'd be happy to hear from you...
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