My Christmas

by C'riz, class 2b.

So Christmas day rolls round. I put on my most brave face and go out to face the family.

It's moderately awful on the present front. Every year I tell them I don't want anything. Which is true, if I have desires for stuff I act on them and buy. I don't need things to be happy. This time they've gone for the lots of choklit & a cuddly toy approach. Meh. What's wrong with the amazon gift voucher if a) you really must buy something and b) have no clue?

I then drive to idiot girl's to deliver the heavy things she has got that have been left here. Idiot girl is "ill". Nothing to do with having spent most of the night consuming large quantities of C₂H₅OH... no siree.... I am rather lacking in sympathy. Especially when I am told she has poured a large amount of fat down the sink, and now the sink 'doesn't work'. Guess that will be my fun later.

We watch doctor who, which is, frankly, rubbish. Token 3 minute appearance by Pond & boyo. It's also totally wrong, the doctor reasons with people to change, not meddles with time to force them to.

It's now 7pm, so Idiot girl has gone out for round 2 of liver damage. Ma Ma's magic sink unblocking solution hasn't worked at all, so muggins gets to dismantle the pipes and physically pull out the fat. This pleasant job is made all the better by Ma Ma's stuff being basically strong bleach that burns my arm and ruins my jeans. Marvellous!

Fast forwards to boxing day. Idiot girl is even more "ill". Ma Ma tells Idiot girl she is going to the sales. Idiot girl tells Ma Ma that today is a Sunday (correct), and boxing day cannot be on a Sunday (wrong), and thus all the shops will be shut as it's illegal to be open on the day after Christmas if it's not boxing day.

Bizarrely Ma Ma believes this steaming pile of Tottenham that Idiot girl has invented and stays at home. Well, believes it until the news comes on, broadcasting live from the mall with record crowds. Ma Ma then spends the next hour moaning about it to me.

Ma Ma then settles down to watch, and I kid you not, crocodile dundee (the teatime censored edit). She has the tv cranked up to max volume. Oh Ma Ma, could you turn it down a soupcon please?
She turns it down to the point where it is inaudible, and starts giving me the sigh and glare treatment.
Bugger this for a game of soldiers. I get changed and go to work in my -3 C garage. So I was also joining the illegal working stiffs on my day off. At least it's free from other people there, so I cannot be wrong.
Slight snag that all this cold has turned my coolant tank to a block of ice, but I manage to smash it into smaller chunks and then melt them with fire.

One positive outcome is I'm 95% decided to go for it. I be thinking of joining spice, which appears to attract persons 35 - 45 who have no life and want to meet new people and do new things. Who knows, I could be lucky and get my very own bunny boiler...

Even if I don't, I'm going to try and do more new things this coming year.

Right, off to read the blogs of other nice people. Attempt to get the happy by osmosis. Come on, hurry up and write them....