Domestic situation is now at defcon 3, where people politely pretend there isn't a problem, while at the same time looking for any excuse to go off on one. Still, I can live with it.
Besides, I have new excitement in my life, A battle of wills, er, with the new postman.
As you may know, I am a professional fruit loop. So I have no option but to be self employed, as there is no way I could hold it together working for someone else. Now being self employed is
One of the things you tell normal people to make yourself look good is you're the boss and you set the hours you work. Want the day off, take the bloody day off, enjoy yourself! You're the boss! You kind of gloss over the bit where the job has to be done no matter what and there's only you. Besides 70 hour weeks are good for you.
Er,where was I? Er... Yes! Well I never liked mornings, so I made an executive decision that I'm not going to work them. So while normal people are going about their ant like lives, for the last twelve years I've been sleeping my way thru mornings. True, I have to work evenings to catch up the work, but it suits me fine.
Until last week. "ding dong ding dong.... ding dong ding dong" Wha? 10:30am.. Must be post... Opened the window, and it's not my normal postman. It's my (soon to be) enemy... Shambled downstairs, "parcel for you" he says, holding what is obviously a slim paperback book wrapped in brown paper.
"oh, thanks. Er, that would fit thru the letterbox".
"oh. Bye!" And off he goes.
Next day... 10:30am.. annoying doorbell plays a bontempi special version of "yankee doodle". It's the same postman. With another very thin parcel. Hang on, there's a pattern emerging here, but I can't quite put my finger on it....
Obviously I cannot let him win, and just get me out of bed every time I get a parcel. Then I had a revelation. He can only wake me up once in a day, no matter how many parcels he has for me. He also has a finite space in his post sack, and if it is exceeded will have to go back to the post office for the rest of the mail. I can punish him back!
So I went on ebay and accidentally bought a few books. Next time he got me up he had four parcels, and I detected was not over happy. But he'd still got me up... so up goes the ante. Back to ebay....
Today he had 10 books, and even less happy. But, he knows my game now and turned up half an hour earlier, the fiend!
The question, dear reader, is do I escalate it further? I have been buying books that I want. But I could start buying not for desire to own, but for desire to punish. I'm thinking big heavy books that no one wants and thus are cheap. £10 spent on crap books could easily weigh 5 kilos, maybe more.
To be continued....
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