Cruel Summer

No, I'm not dead. Just rather busy trying to catch up after playing 'rite keg' waaay too much. Three days of keg in a row even! A new record for us.

Day 1:
Ma Ma wants to do 'something', but doesn't want to actually say what. But wait! There's a strategically left leaflet for "the heights of Abraham". Could this be a clue? We will go there and see anyway.

We depart for Matlock. Whilst attempting to find somewhere to park I spot smoke appearing from behind an embankment. Smoke at regular intervals. Rather like what you get from say, a steam train. Investigation reveals... a railway. Quelle surprise!

So we go on said train. It travels at 2mph, as it turns out they have very little track, so go slowly to give the impression they have more. But it's nice. We get off said train at the other end. In their fund raising shed they have all sorts of old tat for sale. Ma Ma purchases 3 second hand 'euro disney' branded egg cups as a present for idiot girl. I rejoice, for I'm sure she will 'love' them.

We return on said train. Here is your humble narrator looking a twonk as usual:


Note the 'shermer high' t shirt, that the website I bought it from claims will instantly make you cool. Girls will want you. Men will want to be you.
Sadly, this hasn't happened to me yet. Nobody appears to have the slightest idea about Shermer, Illinois.

Shortly afterwards, Ma Ma drops the bag and smashes the egg cups, along with my hopes and dreams of watching Idiot Girl's reaction.

We then move onto aforementioned "heights of Abraham". I have the feeling this is likely to be an expensive waste of time.

I'm not wrong :(
Queue for yonks... then onto the cable car that goes over the valley:



This is over in about 1 minute, which is perhaps welcome as it is a long way down...

The leaflet pimps their 'cave tour'. We wait 30 mins to go on it. It rapidly becomes obvious that their leaflet has been photoshopped to the power of N.
Observe:


Pretty non? Pretty FAKE!
In reality the rocks are all 1 colour. (dirty brown). Said location on said tour has had lights added to funk it up. Even then the photo is fake, as the lights cycle thru colours, so someone has blended several photos to create the above.

It's really a chance to bang your head a lot while trudging up steps in a boring tunnel for 40 minutes whilst saying 'boy was I suckered'.

You then find out your options are a) buy something from the overpriced gift shop, or b) join the long queue of people waiting for the cable car to get the hell out of there. We chose b).

By now you're prolly losing the will to live, so more kegs later....

Lazy blog:
Bananarama - Cruel Summer


5 points if you can name the film used in without googling.