Friday 2 September 2011

Stupid contest

Yesterday was an unplanned stupid contest between Idiot Girl and myself.

My dumb move was the purchase of a petrol powered hedge trimmer.
No, I didn't start any fires or lose any body parts. What I forgot is said machines are powered by two stroke engines. One of the key properties of said engine type being they're not very 'clean'. Lots of unburned fuel, smoke, and carbon monoxide being produced.

Add in doing all the hedges in a four hour marathon, and I've been exposed to lots of nasty stuff for a long time. I grab a shower afterwards and feel 'fine'. For about an hour. Then I feel vaguely ill. For the rest of the night I cough like a chain smoker, and can smell exhaust fumes. I can only guess that the body has been absorbing all the toxins, and then decided to try and get them back out. Most unpleasant.

Today I'm ok, apart from pain caused by lugging said heavy machine.

Idiot Girl's stupid was to go to the cinema.
She doesn't believe in supporting local business, and goes to one of those soulless multiplex awful things in the next town. As each 'screen' is a shoebox,and Wednesday is 2 for 1 nite (If you have an orange phone, she hasn't) they sell out, so she books tickets on the interweb before going.

Stupid part 2, is she goes there on the motorway. If you put the two addresses into google maps you get two routes. Motorway: 12 miles, 24 minutes. Normal roads: 9 miles, 25 minutes. Personally, I always go normal roads as burning more fuel to save 1 minute doesn't appear attractive. She always goes on the motorway to anywhere 'cos it's got to be faster, innit?

The hand of fate moves in at this point, and causes a horrific 5 car pile up half a mile from Idiot Girl. We get a phone call... 'why has all the cars stopped moving?". She can use her phone to look at facebook 93 times an hour, but searching for highways agency is too hard.
I google it for her. There is a crash. Estimated time to reopening: five hours.

But she is lucky and it only takes 2 and a half hours. And she wasn't half a mile further on, and thus isn't trapped in wreckage.

She takes today off work because she is sooo tired after being stuck there. Er, but, if you'd got to the film, wouldn't you have got home round about the same time?

I think it was probably a draw.

1 comment:

Amanda Huggenkiss said...

Save time and put the 2stroke oil on the hedge - problem solved.