Monday 12 September 2011

Multiple fail

There are several types of fail. Most where observed this weekend.

Idiot girl demonstrated "I told you so I told you, but you would pay no heed", by going to her 'rite keg' and having a truly awful time. She was in agony after standing for more than 30 seconds. Will she do it differently next time? Somehow I doubt it.

As I was on the 'no keg' list 'cos we are IG's designated dog dumping zone, I decided to make use of the time by calling in some favours and getting my new concrete floor made. So I phoned Eddie Shovelhands (who's actually called Rick, but does have large hands).

Eddie assures me he knows how to use a cement mixer. Eddie is lying! Fail #2, believing people when you can see it's wrong.....
He says of course you can get 3 bags of ballast & 1 bag of cement in the cement mixer... and you could.... until you add the water and turn it on. At this point it proceeds to throw cement violently everywhere. We are both covered in cement, as is my car and garage. He then concedes I may have been right and we should have used the buckets to measure a smaller amount.

Eventually the floor is laid, and concrete removed from most surfaces where it's not supposed to be.

I watch doctor who on tv, which is not exactly sparkling. I then watch last night of the proms, which is also moderately poor until the last bit with the standard British conquer the planet stuff..

Sunday rolls round, and Idiot girl announces she's cutting the keg short due to having a shite time. Marvellous.... So I can have keg now, as long as I make it quick. So we go to Bolton. For the mill engine museum.

Except when we get there Idiot girl phones to say she's put the foot in the shower, despite instructions of don't get the dressing wet, and now oddly it's wet. Shower, water, wet, who would have thought it?
So we spend an hour driving around attempting to find a chemist. We find several closed ones and no open ones. We then realise the answer is tell Idiot Girl to tell twonko #2 to get off his big fat arse, go to the chemist in our town that is open and buy appropriate supplies. Why we didn't think of this an hour earlier I don't know.

We go back to the museum. Lots of steam and a few hundred tonnes of machinery moving slowly. Heaven!

Ma Ma, would you like some coffee? Yes. She then DOES IT AGAIN! Asks the person for a "weak coffee". followed 5 minutes later by declaring this coffee tastes horrible!
That would be because you have coloured water, and not coffee. She then pours hers into my cup, so I now have ruined coffee also. Why she keeps doing this I have no idea... but I'm going to drink only tea from this point on.

Of course Ma Ma is only concerned about little miss stupid, so shortly afterwards my day out is cut very short and it's back home again.

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It has come to my attention that this Friday, Wheatus, of 'teenage dirtbag' (baby) fame are playing my one horse town. Should I go? It could be fun? Only slight snag I can see is that's their only song that I'm familiar with.... did they do anything else? Does it matter?

Prolly won't go I suspect.... (fear fail!)

1 comment:

C'riz said...

I'm more afraid it would be full of peeps who know all the songs, including the one that's only on the Japanese bootleg pressing of album #2.
So they all turn round to kill the boy who only knows the baby song.