Tired

Idiot Girl is wearing me down again.

First problem is she wants some ZOMG!!! illegal mega bright light bulbs fitting to her car. The exact same ones she left in her old car. But no problem, I can drive to the store to buy them, Ma Ma can pay for them (£26), and then I can fit them.

So I read the manual for the car. How to change headlight bulb:
Open bonnet.
Remove rubber cover from headlight.
Disconnect wiring plug.
Change bulb. Refitting is reverse of removal.

This is a load of fetid dingo's kidneys! Said car is built in Korea, and I suspect they use small children to fit the headlights. There is exactly 2 inches of space behind the headlight. Surrounded by sharp metal objects. I have large hands. Large hands that now resemble a relief map of the moon. A bleeding gouged oily moon. 45 minutes to change 2 bulbs!

She then wears me down by remote control. This weekends KEG is she's going camping. The weather is forecast to be solid rain. Perchance this is not one of her better plans.

The first phone call is she wants cool box packs. To freeze for the morning. The house is turned upside down looking for them. They're not in the cool box. Or anywhere else. Several hours later Ma Ma remembers she lent them to Idiot Girl last time she had similar stupid ideas and they never came back. (Idiot Girl like to borrow other people's things and destroy / lose/ throw them away).

The phone rings again. Idiot girl wants cooking oil. To cook outside her tent in the pouring rain.

Ma Ma finds a bottle of cooking oil. Ma Ma decides to put a small quantity in a small bottle. Ma Ma dicks around trying to dry the inside of the bottle with a towel. Ma Ma, stop dicking around, there is <2ml of moisture in there, it's not going to harm the oil. Ma Ma ignores me and continues to dick around.

Ma ma adds the oil. The oil now has floating bits of towel in it. throw it away and start again. No! Ma Ma must dick around some more!

Tea strainer! That won't work Ma Ma, too big holes! Dick Dick!
Coffee filter! Too small holes, it will take all night! Dick Dick!
Paper towel!
2 layers of paper towel!
etc etc.

30 minutes later I am losing the will to live. Get in my car, I will take you to the shop to buy new oil for Idiot Girl to cook in the rain! No! I want to annoy you more!

And RELAX.

My only hope is Idiot girl decides to cook inside the tent to avoid the rain, burns the sodding thing to the ground and never goes camping again! That or I have got a brain tumour.