whistlestop tour

Or what I learned on my day out...

Firstly, I am not a morning person. So getting up in the morning was lacking in the fun department. this was then compounded by walking to town. Mood further deteriorates 'cos my train is sat waiting, and a stupid woman in front of me is too busy trying to control her numerous offspring to get on with the bloody job of buying a ticket. We got on said train with seconds to spare. Phew!

We then get off at Wakefield a full 15 minutes later. It's a derelict post apocalyptic hell hole. Ma Ma tells me they've actually smartened it up since she was last here! We wait for 45 mins.

Oh look, another train. This one is ours, "The Scarborough Spa Express". The clue is in the smoke pouring out of the chimney. I get ready to take a trip back to the golden age of train travel.

Gold is slightly lacking.
I'm sure gold doesn't include a spring sticking right up your ~cough~ posterior. (That's what they said instead of arse in the olden days).
I go in search of coffee in the 'buffet car', but unfortunately it's not been invented yet in the steam age and I have to make do with brown rusty warm water instead.

We share our table with a bored young child. She has the resigned to doom look that only the offspring of a steam nut can have. Her father spends the entire journey not with her (I suspect hanging his head out of a window), returning only to collect her at the end (come on troll we're here).

We arrive at York, and bored child / absent parent is replaced by a steam bore and his mate alky idiot. Steam bore constantly tells steamy anecdotes that are very boring. Alky idiot drinks from a large bottle of mega strength tramp cider he's brought with him, presumably to attempt to escape into a fantasy world where he cannot hear steam bore. I look out the window.

We arrive in Scarborough. The sun is shining, there is the sea, what shall we do in this Mecca? Best make it quick as the train goes back in 3 hours time.... so we condense a day at the seaside... 5 minutes in the arcade.... ice cream.... walk on the beach.... look in shoppe.... 5 minutes at the spa.... walk over newly restored bridge.... and your times up!

We return to the train. Alky and boring don't. Yay! A full table to ourselves! We return home. the closer we get the darker it gets, and the intensity of the rain increases. But our spirit is not broken, for overall it's been better than staying at home and working.

It was also educational. We found out Scarborough people are weird. We went into a bakery. Four teacakes please? They gave us 4 current teacakes (with currents in them). No, plain teacakes plz? We got eye rolled, so obviously 'teacakes' means with currents there...


A lazy blog challenge. What is Howard Beaumont (the king of the keyboards) playing for us at the spa?



We are far away because we think he's not actually very good, and don't want to pay £6 for the privilege of listening to him close up.