I got a phone call from the bank. Would I like to have a free savings review?
Yes, yes I would. Given you're the bank that likes to change the interest rate to 0.25% without telling people.
So I went to the bank. Hello, I'm here for a free savings review.
~Tappity~, er, no you're not. Computer says no. The nice lady phones round the other branches of the bank, and it turns out I'm supposed to be in one on the other side of town. That I never use. Ok...
Arrived at the correct branch. Hello the people who have my money! Come this way... I'll just print out what savings you have with us, and then we can discuss things. ~Printy Printy~
OMFG! You have money! Er, excuse me one moment!
She returns shortly with an older woman... Hello, my colleague tells me you have more than a shilling in accounts with us.... Do you really need all that money instantly available, or would you like to book an appointment for a free investments review?
So I'm going back next week for them to try and sell me other things instead.
It's very amusing watching them trying to link up the scruffy individual with the money in the accounts.
What do I do for a living?
Evilbay seller. I sell things on evilbay!
What sort of things?
Oh, stuff....
You must be very good at it?
No, not really.....
The thing they're missing, and are trying to work out is I'm not like normal people.
True, I have enough money saved to purchase a small house. But it's not because I make lots of money. In fact I earn less than half of the 'average' wage.
Anyone could be the same. Just modify your lifestyle to that of the 40 year old virgin living in your parent's basement. Don't borrow money, don't spend what you can't afford. Stay away from blonde bloggers with good sob stories. Don't 'lend' money to your Idiot sister.
Voila! You too will have money. And will also prolly be miserable most of the time.
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Lazy blog: double feature!
You can tell how old someone is by asking them which is the definitive version of this song:
The beatles?
Or flying lizards?
(I'm firmly with the lizards btw).
Anyone who goes for the Josie & the pussycats version should be killed.
So This Is Christmas
5 days ago
3 comments:
What did you expect to get out of a banks "free" savings / investment review? I am using my psychic powers here to guess that they have investment "products" that are just right for your financial future.
p.s. I am not normal either - failed badly at consumer school.
Defo Flying Lizzards. Even if it is a bit pants.
I'm quite expecting they'll be trying to pimp those useless "give us your money for 5 years & if the stock market rises by 10% and there's the moon in uranus in 5 years time you get OMG % interest, otherwise you lose it all" schemes.
I will listen to what they say, and then ask for the £20,000 they currently have at 0.5% interest in cash plz, and take it to some other robbing bastards. If they argue I'll take it all :)
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