Does what it says on the tin

As the old ronseal slogan used to go. But I'm not talking varnish here.

I'm talking toothbrushes. Mine has lost it's shaking skills due to the battery failing so it only holds charge for a day. Of course in the modern world we live in the battery isn't replaceable. As this is something that is held in close proximity to my face I'm not going to attempt to bodge it just in case it happens to blow up. Not that explosions are common with my work. (Cough).

So. New one required. Ma-ma has an all singing all dancing one. Why don't I get one of those?

So onto the interweb. Hers now isn't all singing any more. Their crack team of rocket surgeons have created an even more powerful dead brilliant device, the oral-b triumph 5000! A very close second to the clean that only the dentist can produce, available for you to enjoy at home.

Throwing caution to the wind, I bought one. And I can confirm it is very much like a visit to the dentist.

To whit:

• It cost £90 on special offer. RRP £150. Genuine dentist blow to the wallet.

• Just like a visit to the dentist, my gums are bleeding. This will "probably" stop in a few days the manual advises.

• Uber giant oscillating head is great for catching other teeth with and giving that bone jarring sensation of fear.

• Genuine dentist style patronising smart guide system! Using RFID technology a separate display unit tells you when you're doing it wrong, and issues a smiley face when you get it right, and your two minutes of recommended bleeding are over.

• Bewildering array of accessory brushes.

I'm told I will get used to it. I'm not so convinced. It could be good for cleaning alloy wheels though.

The cassette of doom revisited

I have played the cassette of doom.

I'm not going to put the video on here, for it is obviously a genuine doom generator.

Not 48 hours after playing, I am told due to an unexpected hospitalisation I won't be meeting the lovely Debbie Mcgee, Manic Misty next weekend after all. Hugely disappointing after lots of yay! grade looking forwards to. So I don't want to inflict doom on you all, or people you know, or as in my case friends of people I know.

I will risk saying Squeakypony was half right, as one side was blank. The other contains some unknown Lancastrian comedian who is rather awful at the teh funny.

Message ends.

The cassette of doom

Whilst at Idiot Girl's future new gaff today I noticed yet another pile of previous person's (ie. dead guy) possessions has been dumped outside for disposal by Idiot Girl.

One item being an 80's cheap n nasty hi fi. With a cassette tape in it. Curiosity has got the better of me, and I have the tape here on my desk. I haven't played it yet, just in case it's like the video tape in the ring. Plus I've got to find a tape playing machine somewhere.

I don't know why, but if I had to guess what was on the tape, I'd go for it being a very heavy bagpipes version of The Northern Lights of Old Aberdeen.

Anyone else want to have a guess?

Additional: Will play & video it, and post on Monday so you all get to die too...