Is there a doctor in the house?

So we went and collected Idiot Girl's x ray images.

I must admit to thinking the "after" repaired leg looks a lot like the kind of repair I'd do on an old cupboard that's going in the garage. Aesthetics don't matter as long as it holds together for a bit. Including the too long and wonky screws that come thru the other side.

If by any chance one of my many readers knows anything about this sort of thing (broken people, not bodging furniture) I'd welcome your comments.

Before fixing: (clicky for big & terrifying)

Ikea bargain corner:

Idiot Girl update.

Today was the Big Day. Idiot girl goes to hospital for pot removal on leg, and will then get a smaller pot for a couple of weeks before being declared fixed. Well that's what she thought....

Bzzzzt! Wrong!

Reality be... pot removed, and not getting another one. Doctors confer and present their expert opinion. Do nothing at all for two weeks, for if you as much as attempt to stand on it your leg will explode much like a ripe melon dropped from a great height. She be looking at 12 weeks before she can even think about trying the walking thing.

Here be one she buggered up earlier:

Not pretty. I was actually expecting a horse shoe shaped dint in it which would have been a lot more fun than looking twice normal size and about to fall off.


As well as being crap at riding horses, Idiot Girl is also rubbish at photos. She be in my car, I may as well make use of her was the theory. Hah!


Exhibit a:


This is a bridge (duh!) in Wakefield. I am moving at 3 mph. Task be get photo of the bit at the top where it says "All your base". Fail! My fault for going too fast apparently.

Exhibit b:


Having found out how useless she is, this time I took no chances. See the sign covered up by the hanging baskets Idiot Girl? Yes! That be your target.
I proceed at 2mph, and tell her to say stop when she has it in shot so she can't use the you was going too fast excuse again. Better than her last attempt, but not very good really. More of Arthur's castle than anything else.

On broken things

Idiot girl models her new easy to find broken leg.

"How will I know which is broken?"
... er.. ok, we'll colour that one pink love...

Leg now has 3 breaks (& 2 metal plates) in it. As Dr. Nick Riviera decided to break it as well for some reason.




Land rover with 3 warning lights that shouldn't be there. Googling reveals they are known as "the three amigos". And you have to get a man with a computer to turn them off again, or as some suggest "run them out of town". This can be expensive... it is suggested the more Mexican you can sound when phoning up, the cheaper the job. So I've been practising dropping gringo, tequila, senorita etc into my sentences.