Encounter in aisle 23.

Today I took the Ma shopping at tescos. Aisle 23: breakfast cereal. We want porridge, at the other end.

Halfway down there is a woman. Who keeps getting in my way whilst looking at a box of fruit n fibre. After several attempts to get around her I stop in the hope she will go away. She then deposits her box of cereal in my trolley.

"Er, wrong trolley" was all I could say. Methinks she was too engrossed in reading the nutritional values to look what she was doing.

The odd thing is I'm more embarrassed than she was. I don't think I'm ever going to get the hang of this human interaction thing.

ghost shopping

Right, first we need some earworm.

This town, is coming like a ghost town
All the clubs have been closed down
This place, is coming like a ghost town
Bands won't play no more
Too much fighting on the dance floor

(or put the video on in the background)

Now imagine it's Saturday night, and you're wondering round a supermarket that feels like it's in an ex Russian republic. And you keep doing the nyah nyah nyaaaah bit from ghost town, then looking round guilty in case someone heard you. That was my visit to tescos.

They're currently in the middle of turning it from being a tescos into a tescos extra. The car park has gained a portacabin that says "temporary store" on the side. But the main shop is still open....




Sadly like Russia, there's not a lot to buy. But there's plenty of jolly signs telling you there's not a lot left.



Normally on a Saturday night this place would be full of cages of goods, with happy monkeys refilling the shelves.



Anyone for cereal? To make the feeling of doom more complete they had also turned off the background music. So tis basically a shop with no people in it, very little to sell, and an idiot wondering round doing the instrumental bit from ghost town.

If you wanted cheese, broccoli, bananas or haagen dazs ice cream it was your lucky day. These where the only remaining fresh products and where being sold at 10% of normal price or less just to get rid of them.

Idiot Girl likes over priced ice cream, so after phoning her and saying which would you like? (answer: all of them) we went to the till with a trolley full of ice cream, and 1 block of cheese. Then had to get the supervisor to allow us to buy so much of the same stuff. I tried really hard, but could only manage to reduce to humming ghost town while they over rode the till.

We left feeling a mix of joy at a trolley full of ice cream for £10, and sadness for all the tesco monkeys who have been fired.

Put it back!

Today I was in tesco. And I noticed something I've prolly noticed and been annoyed by before, but this time I took pictures.

What doth we have here?
We have the breeding grounds of the species known as lazy bastards.

Take a bottle of fresh orange juice out of the fridge, bimble to the crisps row to shut up your stupid offspring, and spot the value orange juice. Hang on, this stuff is dirt cheap compared to the fresh stuff. No problem, put the fresh on the floor, fill your trolley and bugger off.


It doesn't matter that you've effectively rendered the fresh bottle useless.


So I go round the corner to the next row, which be ice cream. And I see this. Is this from the previous idiot? Or another twonk?

Yes, fresh from the fridge trifles. Dumped in the freezer. Genius.





Now you may be asking, C'riz, why do you care? After all mr. Tesco made billions of quids. What does it matter that some lazy scum is ruining food?

Well,
a) it's not nice when there are people starving for you to ruin stuff 'cos you're too lazy to take it back.

b) Mr. Tesco likes to make billions of pounds. You can bet he has a team working out just how much stuff gets destroyed in this way. And he's putting it on the prices of stuff. So I'm paying for the lazy bastards.

Grrr!
So, dear imaginary reader, what annoys you about other shoppers?