Is there a doctor in the house?

So today I went back to see the neurologist guy. Who is called Dr. Khan. Which means while I'm in the waiting room I keep getting flashbacks to The Shatner... like this:



I'm 300% certain that Dr. Khan is going to give me the brush off, or tell me to come back in 6 months. I am wrong.

He says my MRI scan was 'normal', whatever that means. But he wants to do more tests. I am to go for an 'visual evoked potential' test. I've had this before... the thing I remember most is the man sanding my head to glue electrodes to it. Meh....

Dr Khan then says if this doesn't show anything, he think a lumbar puncture would be a good idea. I think it's more of a mega terrifying prospect, but what doth I know? If you know more, plz use the space below to tell all:






SPACE ENDS.

Lazy blog time:


Hah! Fooled you! Bet you thought I would go for "doctor! doctor!" by the twins of thompson. I'm not always obvious you know.....

Smoke gets in your eyes

Aka funeral time.

Dead guy arrives by horse drawn carriage. Is it wrong that the first thing I think is "I bet they're expecting to scam someone else into paying for this?"

Shuffle into chapel effort to "when a child is born"... not sure of the relevance of this track.

Bullshit bullshit ^n about said dead guy.

Shuffle out to "I will always love you".... again with the relevance thing... I'm sure the lyric intent is about leaving someone you love, but whom with the relationship is now untenable.

Bonus of daughter (14) refusing to leave, with random screaming of "I want my dad".

Seconds of entertainment for er, seconds.

I cheer myself up with this classic recording from Blaster Bates:

Dead wrong

Uncle 'everybody hates' is dead. We are now officially in the bizarro zone.

Weird #1:
Aunt big mouth (who isn't married to UEH) phoned everybody in, er JULY to say he was about to die any minute... now. A soupcon premature.... BUT... she is then aware that he's down to the final few hours for real this time.... SO decides to go shopping and not tell anyone.

Next day, by the time she gets around to it he's been deado for hours.

Weird #2:
Aunt airhead (the new widow) decides the best way forwards is to go for a full english breakfast with extra bacon at a town centre cafe. She is later observed not winning at bingo.

Evil #1:
Idiot girl thinks of everything possible to say to upset Ma Ma. Sadly it's against the rules to kill her to death and ask for a discount if monster Joe gets rid of two bodies.

Things to come:
Putting the 'fun' in 'funeral'.

Aunt airhead has booked a fry up job, with funeral transportation by horse drawn carriage. Your humble narrator suspects airhead thinks you can order anything you like for funerals, and the government will pay for it. This be wrong to N decimal places.

Aunt big mouth proclaims you can wear bright colours if you want. I can't wait to see the idiots who turn up looking like Colin Baker era doctor who.

I'm going to struggle with the service. It's a cert that it will be difficult not to shout "Bullshit!" a lot as the lies are read out.

Feel free to enter the 'music to close the curtains to" song sweepstakes:

Likely candidates are:
Wind beneath my wings.
Robin hood (riding thru the glen)
Fire starter.

And my own personal worst nightmare:
Aunts big mouth & airhead doing a karaoke duet of "I will always love you.....", as they both think they will be appearing on the next series of Britain's got talent, despite being rejected 7 times so far..

Full event report to come.... possibly including reports of my arrest for punching my mega annoying cousin, and then trying to blame it on grief....

Blah more sleeps till Satan

Soon be Christmas. I can tell cos the shops have had evil music playing for two months now.

So far I've received zero cards. Just to be sure I counted them twice.
But it doesn't get me down. There's a long list of things that does, but if I had a therapist he'd tell me to shut the hell up already.

How was your day?