Red letter day

No, not excitement and fun, more the kind with lots of dire warnings that you must do this now or else.

Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs department tell me I've failed to pay my taxes by the end of January, and if I don't pay £163.39 by Sunday they have authorised a man to come round and thump my thumbs with a hammer whilst shouting "It's bone crunching time sonny!"

Which came as a bit of surprise considering I'd paid what my accountant told me to pay. So checked I'd really paid and not just imagined it, and yes I had. Drove to the accountants to find my man isn't there until next Wednesday. But the nice lady looked on the computer, and it said I owe more money.

So I've paid, and now await to see if it gets there before the man with the hammer gets here. Joy.

Blogger sounds

I was catching up on that there Pseudonymph's blogage specifically the 10p tour of teh house , when it struck me, hang on, this be narrated by said woman.

The only problem is, it sounds wrong. You think you "know" peeps, and so "assign" a voice in your head for them. (FWIW Pseudonymph sounds more posh than I imagined).

Before I met the lovely Debbie McGee Misty, all I had to go on was "Teutonic celt from London", which really gives no clues at all. Doth she sound London-y? Germany? Answer :Misty like.

I's not met that there Scaryduck, but has seen videos on his blogage. I think he's the one that most matches though to reality.

Perhaps I need to meet more people and spend less time with my collection of singing potatoes....

Neighbours

everybody needs good neighbours....

Perhaps someone should tell the bloke next door:



They also need teaching not to steal asda trollies, but that's another story.

Eastenders Live!

As in not dead, curses.

Apparently this pap has been wasting the brains of tv addicts for 25 years now, and to celebrate they had a live episode with the finding out of who killed Archibald whatsisname to ensure maximum idiots would watch.

I of course only endured a few minutes of it as I was walking past the tv. So I'm only partly brain damaged, but thought I'd tell you all what happened just in case you missed it. Tis possible I may get it a soupcon wrong at times due to not having a clue who anyone is, and not watching it. I could get a job at the sun doing reviews with those qualifications.

Scene: Albert square. Cast: everyone. Giant poster announcing the killer of Archibald Tuttle is to be revealed tonight. Mood: Shouty.

Ginger & missus: Shouty shouty, we gonna get stitched up for this, lets do a runner to where they'll never find us, somewhere like brookside close.

Used car lot:
Baldy bloke gets a visit from inspector knacker of the yard. Turns out changing dead guys cambelt did not result in death by blunt force trauma, as cambelts are not capable of this act.

Queen vic:
Shouty old woman demands rest of cast present admit who dunnit, or she will get her baps out again just like in carry on camping, and starts to lift her skirt to show she's serious.

Pint of Guinness on bar: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than this place.

Ian Boyle: My mum dreamed a dream, and it was you all pay me twenty quid for these here jellied eels.

Cut to street outside. Ginger + tart are running away very very slowly.
Enter inspector knacker.. "Can we have a word?"
ginger: "vermilion".
IK: "Ta. Keep on running away if that's what you're doing."

Queen vic:
Assorted slags: Bugger this for a game of soldiers, lets run away as well just in case we did it and just can't remember.

everyone else: Yes, everyone run away.

Ginger: Lets escape by going onto the roof where I'm sure we'll find a hang glider or sumfink.

Rooftop:
I am inspector knacker, and vermilion is no bloody use in the dibble scrabble tournament as I have only the letters J, A, Z, F, P, L & K. Give me another word NOW.

Ginger: Bugger, I'll take a step back and think about it.

Wheeee.....splat.

Ginger's tart: Oh no Ginger is dead an all. Who's going to help me escape from killing Archibald to death now?
Inspector Knacker: What you say?
Tart: Er... Ginger did it. Pal any good for your scrabble?

Phil Collins: dummm dummm dum dum dum. I'm getting tired of doing the eastenders theme after 25 years. Why did I leave Genesis?

Tubetastic Thursday: Never enough

Ye Gods, I'm turning into Misty with the lack of posty due to life getting in the way disease.

I bring to you:
Epica - Never enough.




I actually heard this lot for the first time yesterday. (who says il legal downloads don't lead to discovery of new stuff, and sales thereof?)

It's very strange. "symphonic metal" I think they call it. Very contrasty, high pitched woman, death grunts bloke, and a feeling of it's going to rock in a minute, and then it does!

I think I could like it. But it could also suffer from a bit too much same same. Will have to give it time and see.

Tubetastic Thursday: Close my eyes forever

I'm veh tired today, as I got up at 8am, drove to Birmingham, faced fears, survived, drove back home again.

So straight to the point.
I bring to you:
Lita Ford & Ozzy Osbourne - close my eyes forever



Cruel people will say how can you tell the difference between Ozzy & Lita, as they both look the same. Simples: Lita's the one who can sing!

Methinks I like this one 'cos you can't beat a good song about dying. Plus it check all the boxes: Big hair, silly guitars, dark n moody fade cuts...

Darn it

Today I got up early. Like the first thing in the afternoon. 12:27 pm to be precise. My phone has a missed call, so I boot the pooter and phone back.

It goes a bit like:
Did you get the message?

Which message?

The facebook one, this morning.

Hang on... pooter boots. Message received 8:06 am.

I've only just woken up. So, no I won't be in Huddersfield for 1pm.

2 pm?

Ok. Later...

So I spleep walk thru a shower, dress and then drive like a mad man to get there on time. Meet mr. Bharj, and we go hunting the Biff. (another name on our potential reunion list).

Biff is found. The man appears to have been in stasis for fourteen years. True he has gained a huge workshop (that I don't covet in the slightest. Cough), and 2 kids. And appears to be doing really well (Like everyone else, bastards). But no, not aged at all.

The result is, yes, he's up for a reunion. And thinks he can contact another name on the outstanding list. So if he's successful we only have two more to find. This is actually getting quite scary, the thought that I may have to go thru with this....

Tubetastic Thursday: Relax

Mahaha-hiya, guess what's happening now?

Yes, if you're unlucky enough to have me on your faceache list, you're getting double the videos.

If you're not lucky enough, it's my birthday today. So I'm technically older, but that's every day. The only real difference is I get to try (and fail) to pretend to do the happy when the peeps try and make an issue of it. You'd think they would learn by now, I'm just not interested....

In other news:
It has snowed again. 1.0 imperial inches. So not a lot. So obviously, that's why I get the phone call from idiot girl that she needs help in the evil snow. I should point out idiot girl has a (girls) 4x4, a freelander. She be 300 yards from home, has just missed crashing it and daren't drive any more.

"Almost" crash could be something to do with her driving technique of slowing down not working, so drop the clutch and stamp on the brakes. Repeatedly. Er, IG, leave the clutch alone, take your foot off the loud pedal and it will slow down on it's own.

So muggins gets to walk in the snow to her, drive her the remaining 300 yards home, then walk back. Joy.

On to Tubetastic Thursday.

I bring to you:
Frankie goes to Hollywood - relax



Yes, we all know the story of banned by the BBC so instant mega hit. Even if us innocent kiddies had no clue what it was about.

I was listening to the radio the other week while doing the work thing, and they had an interview with Holly Johnson, which was rather surprising to me, as I had the thought in the back of my mind he was dead a-la-Freddie Mercury. But no, he be still alive.

Mind, interviewer must have had the same thought, as interview kind of went, sooooo you're not dead then..... and you're not Frankie goes to Hollywood any more... so what are you doing while waiting to shuffle off? (He paints). Buy the greatest hits album plug. And ,er, that was it.

(Yes, I have worked out what the song is about now, thankyouverymuch).