I'm sure my 1/2 a reader will be glad it's all over.
So without further ado: Christmas Party
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: not on cd anywhere. Probability of being played on asda in store fm: minus infinity. Relationship to xmas? : It's a xmas song.
I may get a buzz, 'cos mistletoe's poisionous, oh hell I don't care I think I'll die.
This is a cover (prolly better than the original version actually) of a dead milkmen song from the time when the dead milkmen where a "fictional" band, and their albums came on tape with each one having a hand drawn cover by the band.
Of course thanks to the power of the interweb you can now obtain such rare material rather easily in mp3 format.
This is from "Oh no! Somebody shot sunshine!"
If you're really that interested you can hear the original here:
Went to the hellhole that is asda. Coming out some little bastard shouts at me "cut your hair and get a job".
Now in an ideal world, I would be like the terminator and quickly choose an appropriate response:
Choices: Ignore. Kick child. "There is no Santa". "I have a job. F***ing your Mum" "F**k you asshole".
Sadly I'm not very good at the human thing and spent too long thinking about it, and only managed a half hearted "F**k you". ~sigh~
More lazy blogging: Band Aid - Do they know it's Christmas?
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: all of them. Number of xmas words in the lyrics: 1 Number of winter / snow etc words: 1 Probability of being played on asda in store fm: 87.9% Relationship to xmas? : More related to Geldof's ego. Midge Ure hardly gets a look in.
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you.
This has bugger all to do with Xmas. It was a method for extracting cash much the same as the local brass band playing and rattling tins outside tescos. You're supposed to give them money and pretend you care, feel good about yourself and then a few weeks later forget they exist.
But the artists, record companies etc did it all for nowt and helped the poor people... Oh yeah? And the record labels haven't made it back 10 times over in royalties for the song appearing on every bloody xmas compilation album, playing on the radio etc.... They only handed over the dosh from the single sales.
The truth is, we're really not remotely interested in helping the 3rd world. The 1st world is already using more than the planet can provide, so even if it was possible to instantly "upgrade" them to our standards it wouldn't be done.
Perhaps the Macc Lads had the truth with their "alternative" version of this song: Feed your face, don't give them a second thought.
Bit of a joy / despair / despair/ slightly less despair day today.
Joy: My new credit card was finally delivered.
Despair: After activating it, and them trying to sell me insurance against it being cloned (wot, like it just has been you mean?) I took it to the shop. Where it failed to work.
Despair: Attempting to start car: clunk. Bugger new battery required. Hang on.. the headlights are still bright... tries again, starts first time.... Bugger.. new starter motor required.
Slightly less despair: Googled discovery td5 starter motor, and they're apparently crap and fail a lot. But you can get a kit of replacement bits to fix them for £10, so slightly happier as this is cheaper than a battery at £130.
I haz also had a genius, GENIUS idea I tell you, on how to blog lazily in the run up to xmas when idiots will suddenly decide to do their xmas shopping online at my emporium and drive me insane running around after them.
The idea be: Youtube vids to the max. With a twist on the xmas theme. Yes, I hope to have enough ideas of xmas things to show, that when you actually stop and think for a soupcon, they're not remotely xmas-y.
I will start this plan NOW: Freiheit - Keeping The Dream Alive
Top trumps time:
Number of xmas cd's featured on: 5 Number of xmas words in the lyrics: 0 Number of winter / snow etc words: 0 Probability of being played on asda in store fm: 15% Relationship to xmas? : Bugger all.
The game will never be over Because we're keeping the dream alive
I'm baffled why this is a Christmas song. Anyone got any ideas?
