Showing posts with label CSI. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CSI. Show all posts

Saturday, 26 September 2009

Television

"The drug of the nation, breeding ignorance and feeding radiation"
as the song goes.

By now long term reader(s) will have realised I'm strange and don't do what normal people do. Yes, you guessed it, I have very little time for television.

In fact my interactions tend to be Ma screws up the tv and shouts at me to fix the tv now Now NOW! as she's missing whatever mind numbing pap they are showing. I'm not over fast at doing this, as there are 4 remotes (tv, video, dvd, satellite), and because I don't use them it takes me a while to work out a) which one is which and b) what button to press. (She normally screws it up by changing the source to something that isn't switched on - no signal = no picture).

The last time the tv broke in a smoke leaks out way it made no difference to my life at all. Well apart from the Ma driving me insane about finding the "perfect" tv to replace it. When the end days come and it's just me left I won't have an idiot box, and will have hours of entertainment with the tv licensing people who assume you can't live without one, and thus you must be lying and will keep sending you demanding letters to stop lying and start paying.

I do have the odd small weakness though. Not that I watch them on a tv of course. The Americans have had the "season premiere" of CSI Las Vegas on Thursday night. And thanks to the evil powers of the interweb and my rather fast broadband I can start downloading an illegal copy on Friday, and 3 minutes later can be watching it. Why bother waiting 6 months or more for it to come here?

I must admit to being in geek heaven. The episode opens with this:



Yes, it's a "bullet time" shot of morpheus from the Matrix kicking ass. Ok, so he's called Ray in CSI, but he'll always be Morpheus to me. It's almost worth losing Grissom to get Morpheus.

So I have 45 minutes of tv a week until Januaryish. I feel slightly dirty, the bad kind of dirty.

Sunday, 5 July 2009

Previously on CSI....



"Grissom, Over here. I found some cast off."
"Well done Nick. Judging by the angle and size our killer was probably moving at only walking speed."

Nick expertly swabs and adds reagent. Nothing. It's not blood.

"Get a sample to trace."
"I'm on it."
"Nick, while we wait for Hodges, how do you fancy a bit of hot man love?"
"I'm the cute white straight guy remember? But just this once I'll let you toss my salad"

"Salad ... Beetroot... It's fucking beetroot!"

"Cancel Hodges then?"

Something tells me I'm going to have to work on it a bit if I'm to become a slash fiction writer...