Somewhere in a parallel universe...

Today we face an uncertain economic future. The enemy is recession. What if Alistair Darling was to come up with a way out?

Whilst being driven to work he reads the "ohhh ahhh daily star" and learns that the "pink pound" is strong. On goes a light bulb....
"Gordon, Gordon, these pink people have got real strong money! Lets tax them on it!"
"Don't be silly Darling. Haven't you been watching Torchwood? That Captain Jack is very clever, and will find a way to defeat us if we did that. No, we need more bummy Jacks, if only there was a way."
"I know! Lets make a new law like that Bevin chap did in the war, and conscript 10% of the population to be bummy. More Captain Jacks than you can shake a stick at! We can call it Darling Bummy Boys!"
"Make it so number one. Engage!"

2 days later I get my calling up papers... The only bribe to this whole dastardly plot, I get to choose my new partner, and if no-one else has already chosen that person, a squad will kidnap them for me (thus solving unemployment, well as long as kidnap gangs are still required).

"you must choose, choose wisely"....

Er, ok.. bring me.... Christian Slater... the 1990's version... When he played "Hard Harry" in "pump up the volume". Yeah, that'll do it.

Now you may be thinking, that was a quick choice C'riz. Well, lets review the evidence:
(caution, contains Samantha Mathis boobies, so maybe NSFW)



Now tell me he's not a buff guy in this?
And... he has a friend who doesn't mind showing off her assets... Methinks he'd also be a generous type who wouldn't mind you borrowing said friend on your weekends off from saving the world by being bummy.

C'riz also quite likes the song (Ivan Neville, why can't I fall in love?") In fact the entire soundtrack cd is pretty good, apart from the concrete blonde cover of "everybody knows".

So, er there you have it.. you now know what an alternate universe version of C'riz would do.. Though as things are different I'd prolly be called C#riz, or C'Rizz or something.

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Bizarrely, I once had a rare phone conversion with a human friend, and the topic got moved round to which sexy female type off tv I would fancy. And I could give no answer. This doth not mean I am bummy... more to do with a) not watching tv, b) not wanting to reveal weaknesses, and c) why torment yourself?

T'would be like being told you're deadly allergic to jaffa cakes, then being asked which is your favourite ones? You'd be much better off moping in the baked beans aisle than even looking at the deadly jaffa cakes... Even a wagon wheel could be too much..